Just pouring out.

I feel like I’m going through another phase of emotional dilemma again. I was hoping I will be okay. But looks like I’m still not.

I want to do something but it would hurt other people. If I won’t do it, I will continue hurting myself instead. If I would, would it be selfish of me? Not that it won’t cause me pain too.

I am confused. I have a lot of questions. I have a lot of things to say. But, I’m tired. I just want to keep quiet and silently deal on things. Do you think what would be okay? Is it too much to ask?

I want to ignore things and just go on with life. Do you think that’s possible? Handle pain as much as I can until it becomes normal?

I am scared. Truth is, I need courage. I need to be more faithful. I need to be more trusting. Knowing that doing the right thing is always the best thing, it may not seem to be at the moment, but soon it will be.

I want to go away. Start anew somewhere. Live freely.