Tag: being single

The BIG Question

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Last Saturday, I accompanied my friend’s daughter to watch the movie, Trolls. Overall, I really had a super fun day. The movie was really entertaining. I basically spent most of my day with my friend’s daughter as she wanted us to do other things together after the movie. In short, we had a blast!

Anyway, you know with kids nowadays. They are very smart and they really ask a lot of questions – really good ones. The biggest question I had that day which was not only asked once during the whole time my friend’s daughter and I were together was, “Do you have a husband?” It started from the question of how old I was, etc. Then, “Do you have a husband?”

And of course when you say no, there is a follow up. “Why don’t you have a husband?” I get these questions from my friends and now the pressure is on even from the little ones. Haha! I just laughed so hard not expecting we would be having that kind of conversation. Kids!

It’s a question I am so used already of being asked and my other single friends too. And in all honesty, it doesn’t really bother me. I don’t mind at all. Someday, I might be giving a different answer. Who knows, right? But for the meantime, while my answer is still a no, I will continue living a life that will only pursue what is God’s best for me.

Beautifully waiting does not mean I will just sit at a corner, not doing anything. Beautifully waiting means going on with life without compromising God’s best for me. It means if choosing only His best entails being single for now, then I will trust and wait.

Cheers to all singles who are waiting on God’s best!!

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Get married or baby sit!

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Just today, one of the kids in our church asked me if I was a student. So,  I told her that I am already working. Then, she asked me if I am already married. (No escape even from kids!) So, I told her that I’m not yet married. Her follow up question led me to a chuckle. She asked that if I’m not yet married then how come I already have a job. Don’t we love the honest remarks of kids? 🙂 (No sarcasm here. I really do love those kids!)

If you really analyze the question, it’s kinda like – you have a job, it means you are already old, it means you should be married! It makes sense right? (Smart kids! )

As much as a lot of women in my age are already married and have growing family, the other half or probably more in my circle are also still single. I must say it’s great to be surrounded by both!

I love spending time with my married/mommy friends as I learn so much from them – about marriage, motherhood, parenting, etc. Good stuff!  It’s like going to a free seminar with so much freebies that you can take home. And my favorite perk, you get to spend time with their kiddos and enjoy those funny, innocent remarks. To be honest, as I spend time with kids including when I teach during Sunday School, I felt like my patience has increased so much. Being with kids has taught me to be more patient with adults also. 😉  It’s also an honor to be asked by parents to baby sit their kids. I think it’s a privilege to be able to impact even for a little the lives of these little ones.

Being with my single friends is one of my comfort zones. Of course, I belong! 😀 The conversations are different. It’s not about breastfeeding, potty training, Paw Patrol or My Little Pony. It’s about love life, career goals, involvements and weekend plans. Being with my single friends has helped me become more driven as a person. Seriously, we don’t talk about guys all the time. As we share some common struggles, we get strength and encouragement from one another. It also reminds me that being single is truly a blessing. As I see other single women being able to accomplish so much – not for themselves but for other people, I get reminded that if these women are married, then who will be able to accomplish these things?  Until our days of being single is over, we will just have to keep going.

If all or most of your friends are already married, don’t isolate yourself from them. You are one privileged single woman to be able to learn from them! Also, seek new single friends if you don’t have one anymore (though I doubt this is possible *wink*). It’s just great to have someone to share a common journey with and to have someone who also hopes the same for you as she hopes for herself – to be married. Indeed, iron sharpens iron.

To all my married and single friends, you are all great blessings in my life! Thank you!

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You got time?

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Hi My Single Friend,

For sure, just like me, you have those days that you just get reminded of how  “so single” you are. You know, those days that you need to do a week of grocery and ended up buying just for two days because you realize no one is going to help you carry your stuff. Or that day when you want to just go out and have a nice, relaxing dinner and all your friends just could not go out with you. Or probably that day when you can’t stay late night at a friend’s party because you don’t feel safe to walk by yourself when you go home. These are the kind of days that you wish you have that constant person who will always be there for you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Being single, it’s normal to desire to be with someone.

However, you don’t have to sulk about it. As for me, those are just my passing moments. Those moments are great reminders as we are so used to being on our own and being independent that at times we forget we need other people.

As those are passing moments, we have better days to enjoy the life of being single. I believe one of the precious things that we single should really be grateful of is that we have all the TIME in the world. The BIG QUESTION is, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME?

If you look back to the time that you started working up to now, how can you describe the quality of your life? Has it been better? Or, you feel like nothing has changed at all? It doesn’t matter how many years ago that was. Two years, five years, or ten years. Question is, did it change a bit? Did it get better a bit? Realistically, a year can pass by so fast and you felt like nothing has really happened in your life. Or, so many things happened in your life that it went by so fast.

As you think about your life today, you might want to ask yourself how much you valued the time that you have? Do you realize how blessed you are that you don’t need to ask permission from anyone on how you can use your time? If you feel like you haven’t really used your time so well for the past years, it’s never too late. Start setting goals for yourself on how you could improve in using your precious time.

Start with what do you want to do with your week. Of course, you go to work in your regular office hours. And you have to make sure you are finding ways to grow at your workplace. Learn new things each day. Always give your best regardless of circumstance. It’s the attitude, my friend.

After work, how do you want to spend the rest of the day? Have a good rest? Probably do exercise – go to the gym or go for a run or play a sport? Or, meet a friend you haven’t seen for a while? Or, read a good book. Do online classes. Or, cooking lessons. Do volunteer work.

How about your weekends? How does it look like? I hope you don’t spend the whole day just watching t.v. series or doing movie marathon. It’s okay to do it sometimes especially after a very tiring week but just don’t do it every weekend. Just imagine how many weekends you’ve wasted in your one year. Do something productive on your weekend that helps you grow as a person. Be involved in a church or community. Travel with friends and enjoy culture. Pursue a hobby that you can be passionate about – gardening, photography or anything that could also inspire other people.

Don’t waste time, my friend. Appreciate the time that you have right now. Imagine how much you can accomplish. And don’t be greedy with your time as well. Make time for people especially if there is a need. Remember, it’s not about how many things you have done with your time or how many places you have traveled or how many classes you have taken or how many people you have met, it is how much you have grown and improved as a person and how much you have blessed other people. Those are the defining moments of a time well-spent.

Be a good steward of your time. Remember, when you’re done being single, your time is not your own anymore.

y your thanksgiving be filled withlove, happiness, and full tummies!

Flowers, Date and Whatnot…

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Can you feel the L–O–V–E? 

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Or, are you one of those “single beings” who will once again feel like an outcast on the 14th of February? That feeling when you can’t ask any of your girlfriends to hang out with you because they all have dates. That feeling when you see everyone posting in FB/Instagram photos of flowers and chocolates they received. That feeling when all of a sudden you just feel like eating out and you can’t find a place because you didn’t make reservation days before. If that’s how you had been feeling for the past years, it’s okay. Trust me, you are not alone in that boat.

I said it’s okay because I believe it is not about being insecure, jealous or bitter. It’s that feeling when you walk into a conference of doctors and you are a musician. It emphasizes what you are not. Not yet married, no kids – STILL SINGLE. And for sure, you get that feeling on other days too. Valentine’s day just adds more drama to it.

So, do you dwell or do you overcome? 

If you choose to dwell on that feeling, make sure that it will not lead you to do something temporary just to make you feel better and will have consequences that you will regret in the future. If you choose to dwell and sink in your emotions, bring it all to the Lord. You can ask Him, you can cry out to Him, you can be desperate in His presence. You can be real to Him. He will not judge you with what you feel.

If you choose to overcome, make sure you don’t overcome it by being stone-hearted and hostile on people who celebrates relationship and marriage. If you choose to overcome, it is because you choose to trust on God’s timing for you. You choose to be grateful because being single also has its own blessings that you can enjoy.

So, whatever you decide to do on Feb. 14, I hope that you do it in LOVE.

Love for God, Love for Others, Love for Yourself.

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Sending God’s love to you, Stifany (Princess Pepay)