This song beats my heart for Jesus.
This song beats my heart for Jesus.
Waiting on God’s best is not just sitting at the corner and be a spectator of things around you.
So, you decided to go out and try to meet people.
Then, you met someone whom you felt could be a possible God’s best for you.
As time passed by, acquaintance grew to authentic friendship.
Silently, you were hoping something more than friendship can turn out with that person.
But then, God didn’t say anything.
And so, you kept waiting, trusting.
Then, God answered.
A love story unfolded right before your eyes with that person.
But, it was a story that was not yours.
Shoulders dropped. With a silent heart, you still chose to thank God.
You are just grateful that God knows better than you.
And so, you continue waiting.
Trusting that the best is yet to come.
Victory and greatness can sometimes blind me of the real important things in life.
Defeat and challenges can sometimes paralyze me to focus on the things that truly matter.
I feel like I always have to press the “reset” button every time either of those happen in my life.
And now, as I just turned 31 this month, I feel like I need to do a reset of priorities again.
I felt like I’ve lost the end goal in mind and I merely chose to live each day as it comes.
I lost a sense of target, a vision.
I realize that for the past months, I’ve wasted a lot of my time doing unnecessary things and sometimes not doing anything at all.
What happened to me, maximizing my life being single?
I don’t know. I just lost it.
But I’m grateful that I can always start again. I can always go back to my list of faith goals that I set at the start of this year.
I’m just glad I made a list!
As I once again press that “reset” button, I pray that I will never lose sight again of the vision that God has given to me at the start of this year. I pray that everything I will be doing will always be aligned to what God had already set for me for this year.
And as I continue to wait on certain things in my life, I pray that I will never grow weary and lose hope.
I will continue to live with God’s vision in mind, enjoying the present.
My heart is not proud, Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
Just this Sunday, I went home to Bacolod to spend time with my family before I leave the country. It was very timely also as we celebrated my mom’s 60th birthday. Days before that, she requested us if we can have a Bible study at home when I arrive. I was okay with it as I took it as an opportunity also.
Few days before I went home, I had the privilege to volunteer and help for the “Unshakable” Conference which was held in Christ’s Commission Fellowship. The speakers were Krish Dhanam, Nabeel Qureshi and Ravi Zacharias. There were also other guests who came who are part of the RZIM (Ravi Zacharias International Ministries).
Being part of the speakers’ care team, I had the chance to pick up some of the guests from RZIM at the airport and had conversations with them, knowing a bit about them – what they do, where they’re from, etc. I must say, it was an interesting and meaningful experience. I could see how God uses ordinary people to do His work.
On the event day, while still helping out in the care team, I was blessed that I could still attend and hear the messages of all speakers. And I’m really glad that I did. I believed God wanted me to have the right perspective and heart as I respond to what He would require from me.
What do I mean by that?
My mom joined a religious group which became known because of a t.v. program wherein their leader answers all questions of the viewers by quoting different verses in the Bible. That Bible study I mentioned was conducted by a worker from that group . I agreed with it because I wanted to know first-hand what they believe in and what they teach. It was a tempting opportunity to debate and argue but just like what I learned from the conference, we must do everything in LOVE.
During the Bible study, I made some notes on the verses they share and the words they speak. I also asked questions just to probe and get more understanding on what they believe in. While listening, my heart really broke and is still breaking. I am saddened of what I heard. I realized how much they truly need to experience the love and grace of God.
I remembered the very words of Dr. Ravi, “If you want to defend your faith, you have to work hard.” For me to be able to share to my mom the truth of God’s Word, I have to do my own homework as well. I have to be more diligent in studying God’s Word, be more prayerful and to just continue showing love.
Paul’s instruction is also an encouragement knowing that only God can truly change the hearts of people.
Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. (2 Timothy 2:23-26)
After that Bible study, my eyes were more widely opened on the so-called “urgency”. The devil is working double time in deceiving a lot of people to confuse them by twisting the truth. I realize I just can’t sit and stay sad for them. I must also put a lot of effort to double time in prayer and in sharing God’s love and His Word to others.
This is when the “Then What?” comes in. God does not want us to remain the same after attending series of events or conferences about Him. It’s not just an additional experience or another check in our bucket list. I was suppose to go home on the 17th of May but because the flight was more expensive than the 18th, I took the next day flight. I would have missed the conference but God knew I needed to hear His message. I know I wasn’t just there to merely hear and feel good and be blessed. God wanted me to hear and apply what I learned.
At the last part of Dr. Ravi’s message, he asked to come forward those who wanted to make a commitment in responding to God’s cause. I just stayed in my place and when Ptr. Peter started praying, I cried. God reminded me that everything that will happen in my future will never be about me. I cried because I got scared that I might fail God. What if I won’t be able to do what He will ask me to do?
I can only pray that God will make me “usable”. Just like what one of the speakers said, that instead of praying that God would use us, pray that God would make us usable. I know I can never accomplish anything until I let God make me the person that He could use for His work.
These are my take home points during the conference. These points reminded me that we don’t live just for ourselves, we live for God and His cause.
– Steer away from things that don’t matter.
– Keep the main thing the main thing.
– You are needed where God puts you.
– Bring into the light your shameful past and see how God will use it.
– A calling is a convergence of your capabilities, convictions, affirmations and opportunities.
– Be careful in choosing your role models.
– If you are a prayerful Christian, your faith will carry you. If not, you will have to carry your faith.
– As you know the truth, take time to know also the worldview on things.
Speakers’ Care Team
“If you love me, keep my commands.” – Jesus (John 14:15)
I got to answer one of the questions during our small group icebreaker activity. The question is, “How did I experience God’s grace in my love life?” I could not give a fit answer as I’m not in a relationship but it reminded me of something very important.
I know I’m not alone in the journey of waiting and for sure a lot of single women like me would agree that waiting is never easy. In my own season of waiting, I have failed so many times. This is not just in the context of waiting for the “right” person but in all other areas of my life that God had asked me to wait.
Why did I fail? Because I thought that getting ahead of God would not really cause much trouble. Because I thought I will be able to handle it. I thought I could be in control. And because I was foolish, consequences were not just painful but they left scars. And those would not happen, if I waited.
We fail to realize that the purpose why God allows us to wait is because we are not yet ready. Not yet ready of what He wanted to entrust to us. Just like when we were in school, we can’t wait to finish and get a job. But a degree is needed to be able to find a nice paying job. So there must be preparation.
God is actually gracious enough not to let us do or have something we could not handle YET. It is God’s way of protecting us from things that we are not yet ready of. In the time of waiting, He lets us see what truly are in our hearts. He reveals to us our true motives and desires for the things that we ask of Him. He allows us to also get to know Him more and His will for us. It is a season of pruning, molding, preparing and growing.
So how do I experience God’s grace in my love life? For now, it is through WAITING.
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
I did something drastic on my 30th. I had my hair trimmed short. Well, it should have been more short but the stylist told me it’s too drastic. So, I let him decide for the length. (Pixie, short hairstyle became an “in” thing recently.) And so here it is…
I don’t look 30, right? 🙂
But I’m grateful to even reach 30. It’s a blessing to be able to live 30 years. Just imagine living another 30 years, really long right? Life is indeed a blessing. But to live a fruitful life is much much more. And I owe everything to God who truly has been faithful in allowing me to live an abundant and fruitful 30 years.
The best gift God has given me this year is the opportunity to go back to Canada and start a new life there. It is a granted dream and answered prayer. Indeed, God does not withhold good things to those who love Him. Why would He? He is good and generous. He gives the best and He is the best Giver.
The best gift God has given me in my whole existence is His love and grace through Jesus Christ. That, I can never trade for anything, even my dream. I’m totally sold out to Jesus. I can’t imagine living another 30 years without Jesus in my life. I just can’t. Indeed, His word is true that apart from Him, I am nothing.
The second best gift God has given me are people. I am grateful to be able to see other parts of the world, experience the good things – but those would be worthless if I didn’t get to share those with different people that God has put in my life. My 30th year got sweeter because of the relationships that God has sustained and for new people that He has added into my life. They say that the only thing you can bring to heaven are people. And so, I’d rather invest on people than on material things. I want to see them all in heaven.
I’m looking forward to an exciting journey as I enter a new phase in my life. I’m just comforted with God’s promise that in this journey, He is walking beside me, ahead of me and behind me.
I am 30. I am forever secure in His presence.
To God be all the praise and glory!
Cheers to all 30’s and beyond!!