Tag Archives: dating

Flowers, Date and Whatnot…

Can you feel the LOVE

love

Or, are you one of those “single beings” who will once again feel like an outcast on the 14th of February? That feeling when you can’t ask any of your girlfriends to hang out with you because they all have dates. That feeling when you see everyone posting in FB/Instagram photos of flowers and chocolates they received. That feeling when all of a sudden you just feel like eating out and you can’t find a place because you didn’t make reservation days before. If that’s how you had been feeling for the past years, it’s okay. Trust me, you are not alone in that boat.

I said it’s okay because I believe it is not about being insecure, jealous or bitter. It’s that feeling when you walk into a conference of doctors and you are a musician. It emphasizes what you are not. Not yet married, no kids – STILL SINGLE. And for sure, you get that feeling on other days too. Valentine’s day just adds more drama to it.

So, do you dwell or do you overcome? 

If you choose to dwell on that feeling, make sure that it will not lead you to do something temporary just to make you feel better and will have consequences that you will regret in the future. If you choose to dwell and sink in your emotions, bring it all to the Lord. You can ask Him, you can cry out to Him, you can be desperate in His presence. You can be real to Him. He will not judge you with what you feel.

If you choose to overcome, make sure you don’t overcome it by being stone-hearted and hostile on people who celebrates relationship and marriage. If you choose to overcome, it is because you choose to trust on God’s timing for you. You choose to be grateful because being single also has its own blessings that you can enjoy.

So, whatever you decide to do on Feb. 14, I hope that you do it in LOVE.

Love for God, Love for Others, Love for Yourself.

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Sending God’s love to you, Stifany (Princess Pepay)

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Not Who, But Why

I was recently introduced to a book that is for singles who are considering marriage. I’ve read so many books about waiting and about maximizing being single, but never a marriage book for singles. Thus, the first.   

I’m glad I got a copy of the book. I got so many practical insights which gave me a new perspective about dating and marriage.  

As the tag line of the book says, “It’s not about who you marry, but why.” I realized I got so focused on the kind of person I am hoping to marry someday but never really answered the question – WHY? 

Unlike some women I know, when people asked me when I was younger what I wanted to be someday, I never thought about marriage or having my own family. However, you eventually reach to that point that you start thinking about it. Not just about being in a relationship and dating, but getting married and having a family. 

I won’t reveal the content of the book, as I hope if you are single, would read it as well.  

But I just want to share one important thing that took me back to the right foundation and thinking that the book highlighted. 

Matthew 6:33 was set as the foundation as to the WHY you want to get married. It says, “But seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

I realized I’ve been seeking things that I thought God would want me to do or have but I forgot to seek Him first. With having this verse in mind, it helps me have the right perspective of “Why” do I want to get married. 

And, someday, I will share it to you why. 

Seek GOD first.

Reality in Fairy Tales

cinderella

When I saw the trailer of the movie, “Cinderella”, I was just ecstatic! I felt like Disney heard my wishlist! Cinderella has always been my favorite Disney Princess. I’ve watched all modern Cinderella movies a well as the cartoon movie series. And yes, I still enjoy watching those even until now. Thus, being ecstatic. 🙂

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I was greatly satisfied with how the movie was made, keeping the classic story as it is. And the real glass slippers are so fancy!! I guess nothing could really beat Cinderella’s footwear! 😉 I’m glad how the movie emphasized so much on a lot of values such as courage, kindness and forgiveness, seeing a big percentage of the audience at the cinema were kids. In short, I was so happy I finally watched it! Yay! 🙂

And of course, there are always take homes from the movie. On my way home after the movie, I got reminded of this cliche that always goes around especially to single women, “There is not such man as Prince Charming.  They don’t exist.” It made me think why would people say that. Is it only because we base it on an actual prince that would sweep off a woman in distress? As I think of the qualities of the prince in the movie, it reminded me of what I read from the book “What is He Thinking?” (By Rebecca St. James). I, somehow, want to conclude that after all, we need more Prince Charming type of men.

An answer from a guy interviewed from the book, “What is He Thinking?”

Question: “Do you think that there is a shift toward a more organic approach to dating today?”

Guy: “Yes, and it is a good thing that people are forming genuine friendships. I also think that guys are more afraid to pursue women these days. It is a lot safer for guys. I do think that guys need to step up and come back to a place of pursuing women in an appropriate way. Ultimately, God calls us to take some risks to build our character and make us more like Him.”

That’s the reason why I said that we need more Prince Charming type of men nowadays. The prince was the one who really pursued Cinderella. He had to open the royalty ball to the commoners that he might be able to see her again. And when he did, he took that opportunity to know her more. And when she left, he never stopped looking until he found the perfect fit for the glass slipper.

To be honest, most of us single women just do not understand why it is so hard for men especially in our church community to pursue or even just attempt to build friendship with women. Is it really the fear of rejection? Or, is it the wrong perception of women? I wonder what guys are thinking about women that they prefer to walk away.

And with that question, obviously I am no expert on relationship or dating. I, myself, is trying to really see the reality of it especially that I live in a country that is so diverse and multicultural. But one thing I’ve learned from Cinderella, which I believe most of us women need to learn as well is to learn how to respond.

From the same book, one guy said, “Christian girls have strange expectations of what a guy should do in a dating scenario. They all want to be pursued, but they are also very cautious about showing interest in a guy – even if the girl really likes him. I get it. I really do. Dating is a game of cat and mouse. However, at some point a girl needs to take a chance and respond. Girls often expect a guy to keep pursuing them even though they have responded to the guy’s advances with nothing at all. That is an unfair power play, and ultimately flawed understanding on how a guy think and what he can handle. No man is bulletproof. It takes two to tango and at some point you are going to have to take a chance on a guy and see if you can dance.”

I realized Cinderella or any other Disney princesses learned how to respond when they were pursued. Though of course, in our reality, it’s not like we immediately get married. My point is, as women, we must also learn to respond in wisdom. We don’t need to complicate things that could give men the wrong hints. But, we still need to keep our guard as we allow men to pursue us.

I always believe that God is the one orchestrating every detail of event that would lead us to that person that He has prepared for us. Our part is to move our feet and walk with God as He brings us to that person. There’s so much learning and character building that God sometimes prolong the waiting for us. But no matter how long that will take,  it doesn’t change the fact that in God’s timing and way, He will give you the person who is your perfect fit!

Cinderella-2015-Glass-Slippers