Tag Archives: decision

Certain Uncertainties

August 8, 2005 will always be an unforgettable date. That’s when God opened the doors of the corporate world for me being a fresh graduate. The job hunting days were filled with buckets of tears and sweat that I never wanted to go through again.

December 31, 2013 is another date to remember. That’s when God closed that door, for how long? I’m not really sure.

I get different responses and reactions from people who learned that I was leaving my work of more than 8 years. They saw how I’ve greatly experienced different forms of blessings through my work that it seems to be a waste to just leave like that.

But, I totally understand these kind of responses. To be able to find a new job is never easier than leaving the current one.

However, I had to leave. Why? Because God said so…

A full time ministry work opened three months ago which I felt was an answered prayer of my desire of doing full time work for the church. With much prayer, I applied. A month after, I decided to submit my resignation even without the certainty that I’ll get the full time work. God gave me peace for my decision. The timing of events for my application was God’s way of affirming me that I did the right thing.

As I went through the last few steps of my application, I was having the confidence that I’m already in.  I just had to wait on the next final steps.

December 27, Friday was my last day in the company since the rest of the days of the month were holidays. As I was returning all company assets, I felt God telling me “I just want you out from there.”  I took it as it is, didn’t bother to even ask what He meant by it.

That Friday night, I checked my personal emails and got an update for my ministry application. They did not select me for the position.

My first reaction – I laughed. I felt like I got “punked” or something. Seriously, the news had to break on my last day?!

I realized God made things happen to push me to a decision that I will not waver. I thought I got everything figured out after I resign. However, God has a very different plan in mind. He just used that situation to get me out of there. Who am I to complain and question? God brought me to that world in the first place. He can always take me out from that world however and whenever He wanted to.

I felt sad with the result of my application. But it made me more excited of God’s amazing plan for my life. Right now, the only thing I’m certain about is the uncertainties in my life. I just have to live each day by faith – much deeper faith.

As I went through this journey, I got reminded that my life is indeed not about me. My life has always been about God and what He can do through me. He is the one who enabled me to go through this journey and He will be the one who will get the glory for how this journey will turn out to be.

God never wanted us to live by what our eyes can only see or our mind can only comprehend. He always wanted us to live by faith on Him.

 “For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Cor 5:7 

 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”  He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree,‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”  Luke 17:5-6

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Through HIM

It was only last week that I finally made a decision to process my application of PR for Canada. I had this sudden peace to make such decision and somehow found some hope. I need to take the IELTS exam as part of the immigration requirements. Tomorrow, I will be submitting my registration form and will be scheduled for the exam. I need to take the exams on March 9 so that I could still make it to the cut off for my application for PR. I need to complete everything before April or else, I would miss my chance. I shouldn’t be applying for PR because right now, I don’t really see myself wanting to live there. However, when I had a conversation with Emily, a Filipino friend in Canada, I found some hope on it. It made me think that anything could possibly change in the next year.

Before I went back to Manila last year, I really wanted to apply for PR. It’s just that I wasn’t eligible back then. It required 2 years of fulltime experience and I only had 1 year and 9 months. Fortunately, just this January, they changed it to 1 year only. I was telling God before that if it is really His will for me to apply for PR, He will make a way for me. And I believe this is a chance that God wants me to take. You see, I still don’t hear God assuring me that I will really be moving to Canada. But God is teaching me to start making big decisions again. I’m not a risk-taker. I like to be sure always. And I know that this application is another test of my faith to Him. I trust that tomorrow when I set a schedule for IELTS, I will be able to get the March 9 schedule. It is only through God that this will be possible. As what the blind man that Jesus healed said that if Jesus is not from God, He could do nothing. Same also for us, apart from God, we can only experience the normal, not the impossible. It is only through God that we are able to enjoy not just the blessings but His very presence, His character, His power, His favor.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Written Jan. 22, 2013