Tag: grace

Tired of Waiting

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How many times have you given up on waiting? What’s the most difficult part when you wait? God has brought me into so many waiting seasons in my life, including now. Who would have thought I would once again be on this season of looking for work and waiting on the right opportunity for me? It’s tempting to worry and get ahead of God, settling for what’s easy.

But, I’ve experienced God’s faithfulness so many times already that this time, I can’t fret anymore. It’s really because of who He is and His grace that I can keep walking by faith.

More than looking forward to that day of Him providing me job, I’m just excited of what He is doing to my life in my day to day. That’s what is making my waiting more exciting – His daily presence in my life. I’m running, walking, waiting – but I’m not weary.

I hope that you find strength in Jesus always, whatever you are waiting for, entrust your life, your future, your today to Jesus. He’s got this. Just believe.

Yet those who wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

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The Magnet Story

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Last 2014, I asked my friend, Xenia to share her God-written love story. It took me two years to be able to publish it here in the blog site, for some reason I don’t know. 🙂

But, it’s never too late to share a great story authored by God. Hope you enjoy a glimpse of Xenia’s journey.

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Written February 2014

Rockwell and I have only been married since August 24th of last year. We are still enjoying the honeymoon stage.

I met Rockwell during the March for Jesus 2000 worship event at Bacolod City. At that time, he was a complete stranger to me. I saw him holding a banner and dancing to the song “Mercy is falling like sweet spring rain”. It was like magnet. My heart fell in love with how his soul loved Jesus while dancing in the rain in front of over a hundred people proclaiming the worth of Jesus. At that moment, I couldn’t help but utter praise and prayer. My prayer was that I wanted to worship the Lord like he did.

Little did I know, I was prophesying him to be my future husband (haha). In college, he was president of the student government in Riverside and I was his secretary. But I never mentioned this fact to him—about that worship event, and the prayer and the hoping. I had a long term relationship during that time and even after college. The prayer that was spoken for him to be for me was forgotten because of the circumstances that happened that I thought I could not control. I took the wrong path when I came here to the States. I got influenced with the worldly lifestyle. God became the last of my priorities. Having a good career and the praises of people were the ones that mattered to me the most.

As I chose to live my life freely, I continued to sin and to forget God. I was making a black hole in the depth of my soul that none of the material, physical or emotional factor can satisfy. The more that I drew farther from the Lord, the more that my life became very meaningless and hopeless. I reached to the point of giving up. I realized that it was not the life that God intended me to have. The life that He promised me was a life that is full of hope and a future. God reminded me that all good gifts come from Him because He is my Dad. I did not deserve the second hand things that I chose to settle with. As He promised, I deserved the fullness of life. When I asked God to take my calloused heart and make it new, it was like He breathed new life to my desert soul and dry bones.

After 14 years, God finally honored my prayer during that rainy event, having a heart that was so raw and open. Rockwell came back into the picture after I sought God’s purpose for my life. I did not beautifully wait for him. But God still turned my wasted life to a beautiful story when He rescued me and I was able to find fullness and grace again in Him. Isn’t God amazing?  He remembered every detail! He gave me the gift of a husband that I did not deserve.

Indeed, a life of worship and prayer is the key. God alone is good and faithful to His promises! He is full of mercy, grace and love for all of us. Our life should never be focused on the gifts that He gives us but our life should be all about who He is and His worth. How could a God still love us and still want us despite the things that we have done and will do which are not pleasing to Him? That’s our God!

Many are the plans in a man’s heart but only the will of God prevails.- Proverbs 19:21

It is not someone or our husband or wife that will complete us. The fullness of life can only be found in Jesus. I am blessed to have a husband whom I can see Jesus in him. It’s an opportunity for me to be able to love him with grace and mercy just like Jesus loves me. To be wired to Jesus, the Only Source of unconditional love, is how we are able to truly love someone unconditionally.  I believe that we can never give what we do not have. To be an overflow of love, we need God’s love to overflow in our life.

xenia & rockwell

Xenia & Rockwell Bennett

Waiting is Grace

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I got to answer one of the questions during our small group icebreaker activity.  The question is, “How did I experience God’s grace in my love life?”  I could not give a fit answer as I’m not in a relationship but it reminded me of something very important.

I know I’m not alone in the journey of waiting and for sure a lot of single women like me would agree that waiting is never easy. In my own season of waiting, I have failed so many times. This is not just in the context of waiting for the “right” person but in all other areas of my life that God had asked me to wait.

Why did I fail? Because I thought that getting ahead of God would not really cause much trouble. Because I thought I will be able to handle it. I thought I could be in control. And because I was foolish, consequences were not just painful but they left scars. And those would not happen, if I waited.

We fail to realize that the purpose why God allows us to wait is because we are not yet ready. Not yet ready of what He wanted to entrust to us. Just like when we were in school, we can’t wait to finish and get a job. But a degree is needed to be able to find a nice paying job. So there must be preparation.

God is actually gracious enough not to let us do or have something we could not handle YET. It is God’s way of protecting us from things that we are not yet ready of. In the time of waiting, He lets us see what truly are in our hearts. He reveals to us our true motives and desires for the things that we ask of Him.  He allows us to also get to know Him more and His will for us. It is a season of pruning, molding, preparing and growing.

So how do I experience God’s grace in my love life? For now, it is through WAITING.

one fine day

 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

I am 30.

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I did something drastic on my 30th. I had my hair trimmed short. Well, it should have been more short but the stylist told me it’s too drastic. So, I let him decide for the length. (Pixie, short hairstyle became an “in” thing recently.) And so here it is…

changeIt felt so light and really refreshing! heheheh…

I don’t look 30, right? 🙂

But I’m grateful to even reach 30. It’s a blessing to be able to live 30 years. Just imagine living another 30 years, really long right? Life is indeed a blessing. But to live a fruitful life is much much more. And I owe everything to God who truly has been faithful in allowing me to live an abundant and fruitful 30 years.

The best gift God has given me this year is the opportunity to go back to Canada and start a new life there. It is a granted dream and answered prayer. Indeed, God does not withhold good things to those who love Him. Why would He? He is good and generous. He gives the best and He is the best Giver.

The best gift God has given me in my whole existence is His love and grace through Jesus Christ. That, I can never trade for anything, even my dream. I’m totally sold out to Jesus. I can’t imagine living another 30 years without Jesus in my life. I just can’t. Indeed, His word is true that apart from Him, I am nothing.

The second best gift God has given me are people. I am grateful to be able to see other parts of the world, experience the good things – but those would be worthless if I didn’t get to share those with different people that God has put in my life. My 30th year got sweeter because of the relationships that God has sustained and for new people that He has added into my life. They say that the only thing you can bring to heaven are people. And so, I’d rather invest on people than on material things. I want to see them all in heaven.

I’m looking forward to an exciting journey as I enter a new phase in my life. I’m just comforted with God’s promise that in this journey, He is walking beside me, ahead of me and behind me.

I am 30. I am forever secure in His presence.

To God be all the praise and glory!

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Cheers to all 30’s and beyond!!

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Delays are not denials

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As I shared in my previous blogs, I was working on my PR application for Canada with all the requirements and stuff.

I’m happy to say that I made it to the required score for my IELTS exam! Praise God for that! Just a little story about it – I was really nervous that I would fail especially my listening exam. It’s really where I was struggling the most when I was doing my self reviews. I was more confident with my writing and speaking since I believe they were my strengths. And you know what, I got the lowest in my writing. I was actually expecting it because I really got stuck in my writing when I can’t even properly elaborate my thoughts about a topic that I totally have no idea! I realized how difficult to write about something you really don’t know anything about. But as always, God is really good. I needed a 6 for my writing and He gave me a 6! 🙂 That was really close. I placed everything in God’s hands after I took the exam.

I already submitted my PR application. It was really a challenging process with all the documents and requirements that I need to procure. Not to forget the very tedious details that I should follow in the instruction kit. But really really helpful. After a month of submitting my application, I got my application number. Yay! 🙂

I’ve been expecting their next updates after 2 months I got my application number but I haven’t heard still. There has been an ongoing strike in the immigration offices which could possibly cause the delays. But then, I told myself, God’s timetable is always perfect. His timing is always right. While I’m waiting for the next update, I still have enough time to prepare for what’s to come. And if this is really what God would want me to have, it will happen.

I was reminded by a status post in FB and I really agree, indeed, God’s delays are not God’s denials. He holds what lies ahead. He knows what’s best. As long as we are aligned to His will, we will learn to wait by faith.

Please pray for me as I press on to this journey. 🙂

God bless!