Tag Archives: journey

Take it Slow

Since I started working, I felt I’ve become an expert of multitasking. I’m always in a hurry to complete two to three tasks at the same time. I felt like I’m always running out of time.

And as I did this, it somehow influenced even my day to day non-work tasks. I noticed that when I walk with people, I always go ahead of them. When I do my chores at home, I start thinking what to do next when I’m still finishing something. And I noticed, when I do things, I’m always in a fast-paced like I’m being timed.

And now that I’m currently out of work, I still feel like I don’t have enough time to do so many things when I have all the time right now. I want to complete things immediately. I want to accomplish a lot within a week. I want rapid progress in my goals.

No wonder God has been teaching me big time on waiting. I want everything to happen in an instant while God is taking His time in slowing things for me. What can I do?

I made a sort of commitment to myself that while I’m waiting on God for His direction for me, I will learn to slow down on everything. I will do chores in a normal pace, thus, avoiding dropping or breaking things. I will plan out tasks weekly and not kill myself to do all in one day. I will take time to rest, walk slowly, observe things. I read this somewhere, “Take a pause and smell the waffle.”  

I’m excited on how God will change me to be more patient and more trusting.

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Certain Uncertainties

August 8, 2005 will always be an unforgettable date. That’s when God opened the doors of the corporate world for me being a fresh graduate. The job hunting days were filled with buckets of tears and sweat that I never wanted to go through again.

December 31, 2013 is another date to remember. That’s when God closed that door, for how long? I’m not really sure.

I get different responses and reactions from people who learned that I was leaving my work of more than 8 years. They saw how I’ve greatly experienced different forms of blessings through my work that it seems to be a waste to just leave like that.

But, I totally understand these kind of responses. To be able to find a new job is never easier than leaving the current one.

However, I had to leave. Why? Because God said so…

A full time ministry work opened three months ago which I felt was an answered prayer of my desire of doing full time work for the church. With much prayer, I applied. A month after, I decided to submit my resignation even without the certainty that I’ll get the full time work. God gave me peace for my decision. The timing of events for my application was God’s way of affirming me that I did the right thing.

As I went through the last few steps of my application, I was having the confidence that I’m already in.  I just had to wait on the next final steps.

December 27, Friday was my last day in the company since the rest of the days of the month were holidays. As I was returning all company assets, I felt God telling me “I just want you out from there.”  I took it as it is, didn’t bother to even ask what He meant by it.

That Friday night, I checked my personal emails and got an update for my ministry application. They did not select me for the position.

My first reaction – I laughed. I felt like I got “punked” or something. Seriously, the news had to break on my last day?!

I realized God made things happen to push me to a decision that I will not waver. I thought I got everything figured out after I resign. However, God has a very different plan in mind. He just used that situation to get me out of there. Who am I to complain and question? God brought me to that world in the first place. He can always take me out from that world however and whenever He wanted to.

I felt sad with the result of my application. But it made me more excited of God’s amazing plan for my life. Right now, the only thing I’m certain about is the uncertainties in my life. I just have to live each day by faith – much deeper faith.

As I went through this journey, I got reminded that my life is indeed not about me. My life has always been about God and what He can do through me. He is the one who enabled me to go through this journey and He will be the one who will get the glory for how this journey will turn out to be.

God never wanted us to live by what our eyes can only see or our mind can only comprehend. He always wanted us to live by faith on Him.

 “For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Cor 5:7 

 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”  He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree,‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”  Luke 17:5-6

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Delays are not denials

As I shared in my previous blogs, I was working on my PR application for Canada with all the requirements and stuff.

I’m happy to say that I made it to the required score for my IELTS exam! Praise God for that! Just a little story about it – I was really nervous that I would fail especially my listening exam. It’s really where I was struggling the most when I was doing my self reviews. I was more confident with my writing and speaking since I believe they were my strengths. And you know what, I got the lowest in my writing. I was actually expecting it because I really got stuck in my writing when I can’t even properly elaborate my thoughts about a topic that I totally have no idea! I realized how difficult to write about something you really don’t know anything about. But as always, God is really good. I needed a 6 for my writing and He gave me a 6! 🙂 That was really close. I placed everything in God’s hands after I took the exam.

I already submitted my PR application. It was really a challenging process with all the documents and requirements that I need to procure. Not to forget the very tedious details that I should follow in the instruction kit. But really really helpful. After a month of submitting my application, I got my application number. Yay! 🙂

I’ve been expecting their next updates after 2 months I got my application number but I haven’t heard still. There has been an ongoing strike in the immigration offices which could possibly cause the delays. But then, I told myself, God’s timetable is always perfect. His timing is always right. While I’m waiting for the next update, I still have enough time to prepare for what’s to come. And if this is really what God would want me to have, it will happen.

I was reminded by a status post in FB and I really agree, indeed, God’s delays are not God’s denials. He holds what lies ahead. He knows what’s best. As long as we are aligned to His will, we will learn to wait by faith.

Please pray for me as I press on to this journey. 🙂

God bless!

Made Possible

I always believe that no one can thwart the plans of God. Yesterday, I was able to register for my IELTS exam on the day that I was really praying for, March 9. There was still an available slot. J Going to British Council, I had so much peace knowing that God will provide for the slot. And, indeed, He did!  Isn’t God so great and amazing and faithful? My heart is just overwhelmed and grateful.

I know this week hasn’t really been a consistent week of quiet time and prayer. With a lot of things going on, I can’t establish my routine. But God never changes. Who He is yesterday, today and tomorrow, He is the same loving and gracious and forgiving God. My day to day activities and time with Him may change, but on the time that I am able to meet Him, He is the same God. He will not ask you why, but instead will accept you as you come to Him. Indeed, I am so undeserving of His love and grace, but because it’s not about me, but about Him that I am able to come to Him anytime even if I fall short. There’s no other God like our Heavenly Father.

I praise and thank God for allowing me to grow in my faith, even in the smallest decisions I make. We never fail to feel His presence as long as we come clean to Him and we humble ourselves to Him. He listens. He sustains. He comforts.

Indeed, with God, anything is possible. 🙂

Written Jan. 24, 2013

Through HIM

It was only last week that I finally made a decision to process my application of PR for Canada. I had this sudden peace to make such decision and somehow found some hope. I need to take the IELTS exam as part of the immigration requirements. Tomorrow, I will be submitting my registration form and will be scheduled for the exam. I need to take the exams on March 9 so that I could still make it to the cut off for my application for PR. I need to complete everything before April or else, I would miss my chance. I shouldn’t be applying for PR because right now, I don’t really see myself wanting to live there. However, when I had a conversation with Emily, a Filipino friend in Canada, I found some hope on it. It made me think that anything could possibly change in the next year.

Before I went back to Manila last year, I really wanted to apply for PR. It’s just that I wasn’t eligible back then. It required 2 years of fulltime experience and I only had 1 year and 9 months. Fortunately, just this January, they changed it to 1 year only. I was telling God before that if it is really His will for me to apply for PR, He will make a way for me. And I believe this is a chance that God wants me to take. You see, I still don’t hear God assuring me that I will really be moving to Canada. But God is teaching me to start making big decisions again. I’m not a risk-taker. I like to be sure always. And I know that this application is another test of my faith to Him. I trust that tomorrow when I set a schedule for IELTS, I will be able to get the March 9 schedule. It is only through God that this will be possible. As what the blind man that Jesus healed said that if Jesus is not from God, He could do nothing. Same also for us, apart from God, we can only experience the normal, not the impossible. It is only through God that we are able to enjoy not just the blessings but His very presence, His character, His power, His favor.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Written Jan. 22, 2013

The Response

God has been using people or events to speak to me. But more than that, He speaks through His Words from the Bible. My desire to go full time has been an on and off thing since I started my serious walk with the Lord. God would put it in my heart, then, He would remove it.  On those times that I would desire for it, I would always ask God – how. And I really didn’t get any answers during those times. He would just slowly remove the desire from my heart.

Looking back, it was only last year that I understood the heart of God on His will for me. We can never serve God fully when there is a non-repented sin in our lives. I wish I can talk about it everything here but this is not about me. I want to talk how God has changed me.  God is slow to anger. He does not look at us according to our own iniquities but according to His love and compassion. He does not keep a record of our wrongdoings. He forgives. He restores. He heals. He delivers. He gives us a new heart. He makes us a new creation. What God always wanted from me was a broken and contrite heart. Something that I thought I could never give to Him. I was scared because it would be very painful. But what I learned about God, He will never let go of you until you return to Him with your whole heart – doesn’t matter how broken it may be. At the time of brokenness, God changed me. His forgiveness and grace became my strength. His Word became alive, pierced me to the deepest. God set me free.

The joy and freedom of serving God with a repented life is truly incomparable. Now, I understand why God didn’t answer me before.

Going back to my desperate prayer, on that same day, God who is so full of grace and abounding in love used Miss Jane, a CCF fulltime worker to speak to me. She asked me if I already applied in CCF. I was surprised, well, because I didn’t know that Rhodes mentioned it to her. What I was really amazed was the wisdom that she imparted to me. She didn’t push me to apply to CCF, but instead, she told me that if it is really my calling, then maybe I should start first in going to a seminary. God doesn’t just drop things at your doorstep without any reason. It was a reminder for me that I have to prepare, just as He asked me to. I’m praying about IGSL. I feel intimidated. I feel incapable. I feel lacking. I still worry – the ongoing thing. Now that I’m praying about IGSL, I have new concerns with God. And you know what? God will always respond.

Written on Jan. 20, 2013

My Faith Journey

Written on Jan. 20, 2013

My theme verse for this year is Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  Faith is a gift from God. It enables us to trust Him. But at this time of my life, I can sense God testing my faith. I can feel His hands pushing my faith beyond what I am used to. And I realize how small my faith is; which makes me even more grateful that I have a BIG GOD.

If you are reading this, it’s because I want you to be a part of this journey. And most importantly, it’s because I need your prayers and encouragements. Just like what Solomon said, “Two are better than one…” I’m grateful to God for blessing me with people like you.