Tag Archives: journey

Confessions of a Sinner

Over the weekend, I just found myself feeling really alone. The past weeks were really tiring with work but it didn’t remove the joy in my heart. I was enjoying my work. But starting this weekend, I felt I was really slowly going down. I could not understand the condition of my heart. It seems empty and full at the same time.

I tried  praying so hard and pushed my self to read the Bible just to find comfort and to feel good. But, it didn’t work. I got so distracted with other things and my mind got tired of thinking what is wrong with me.

You see, I have moments like this in my life when all of a sudden I tend to get so emotional. Then, I start losing focus on God and start focusing on the desires of my heart. Instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to pull my self up from the pit, I pull myself down even more. I admit that this weekend, I let my self just go down. I know God is letting me face something but I was just so tired in dealing with it. I just want to do things my way.

But, big BUT… God is simply amazing. His patience and compassion is just endless on me. He will do everything so that I will return to Him regardless of the condition of my heart. I was reading the book entitled, “Growing Deep in God” (by Edmund Chan) and it focused on prayer. There were 2 paragraphs there which really affirmed my heart’s condition. God has been rebuking on me already about it but I just ignored. But, God loves me so much He would even use a book to rebuke me again.

Here’s what God reminded me. The ones with comments in the side.

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I realized why I was so lazy reading God’s Word. Because I want to read to feel good and be comforted. And because I felt that it hasn’t been like that, I was doing my quiet time out of obligation when I should read because I love Jesus so much that I’m just thrilled to know more about Him.  I now understand why my prayer life is becoming a duty rather than a delight. It’s because it has been about me when it should be about God.

My heart hasn’t been right. My mind even. My perspective shifted because of too much distractions. Slowly, I focused on myself instead of focusing on God.

God knows what’s in my heart right now. The fact that God is always committed to me despite my weaknesses gives me a reason to go back to Him. I’m just grateful for a God who is always true and faithful.

I pray that I will be more delighted in prayer and His Word because it’s always about Him.

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Made for Relationships

When I moved to Manila to work, I didn’t have any immediate family with me nor friends that I can live with. I was basically on my own at the start. It wasn’t an easy move and I can still clearly remember that I wanted to go home to Bacolod during my first week of stay. I got so homesick as it was my first time to really be away from family.

Eventually, I made a lot of friends from my work, from where I used to stay and from church. As months went by, I realized how important to have people who would continue to guide you and even become accountable for you. That’s when I decided to join in a small group. And being part of it really helped me in my continuous stay here in Manila.

The small group became my spiritual family. It is composed of people who show genuine love and concern towards each other. In the group, we share our victories and trials to one another to be able to encourage each other. We pray for each other and help each other in our walk with the Lord. There is nothing so extraordinary in a small group except the common factor why we meet together – Jesus Christ.

I’m glad that I made that decision to be part of a small group. It’s not just about meeting together, talking about our lives, doing fun stuff together, a small group is more than that. It’s a privilege to be a blessing to different people. It’s a privilege of knowing God through other people who share the same passion for the Lord.

Indeed, we are all created for relationships. We are not meant to be alone. If right now, you feel like you don’t have friends, or you’re too far away from your family or you just really feel alone, and you’ve been invited to be part of something like this, give it a chance. It’s more than an invitation, it’s a privilege.

In small groups, we don’t just gain friends, we grow with friends.

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25

 

These are the different small groups I’ve been with and still with. It’s just amazing growing old with such beautiful women, some have gotten married already, one had kid, some had left the city, some had returned, some still stayed single :), but despite of the changes, the journey of encouraging, praying for each other and lifting up one another never changes.

Truth is, our lives together go beyond the small circle of group. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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28: Embracing Life

What’s your definition of “Embracing Life”?

My mommy best friend, Marither and her husband, Emile started an Embrace Life journey just recently inviting their friends and families to take part of the journey. To know more about how it all started, check out my friend’s story – Embrace Life.

So going back to my question, how do you define “Embracing Life”? Your answer to that will tell on how you’ve been living your life each day. Have you been living your life to the fullest? Or, are you still living in the past, full of regrets? Is there any bitterness in your life? Is there fear, hatred, envy? How about optimism? Choosing to be happy?

I like what my friend, Marither, said in her blog, and I quote, ” Something that we would do if today was our last day on earth. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top and scary. It just needs to ‘Embrace Life’. It needs to empower you, challenge you, make you overcome fears or hesitations.”

To add to that, for me, embracing life means doing things that matter and have lasting effects.

If you’re a parent – bring up your child the way God expects you to.
If you’re a spouse – love your husband/wife the way Jesus loves the church.
If you’re a child – honor your parents just as God commanded.
If you’re an employee – submit to authority, meaning your employer.
If you’re an employer – treat your employees fairly.

True enough, you don’t need to do bungee jumping or sky diving or any extreme activities to embrace life. To be able to do the most important things – Love, Give & Forgive, I believe that is embracing life. So, make each day count because we never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow.

” You have made my days a mere hand breadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath.” Psalm 39:5

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This is my super lovable and adorable goddaughter, Alexa. At a very young age, she may not know the concept of embracing life, but she is living it. 🙂

28: A Little Push

Just this September, I was blessed with 2 weeks of vacation. A vacation that my friend, Anni and I had been planning even before I left Vancouver. Anni was visiting Philippines for the first time and we made sure she maximizes her whole stay. Well, I really hope she did. (Looks like… 😀 )

Just to back track a little bit, January of this year, I got challenged by Anni to do snowboarding. You can read my story – Overcoming Fear. I never wanted to do it because I felt like I might just injure myself and I simply can’t do it. But she somehow believed I might be able to do it. So, I took the challenge. Well, no regrets, so far.

Now, back to our September trip. We really had so much fun in the different places that we’ve been to. But as for me, my favorite would really be in Boracay. Anni wanted to try all the water sports, doesn’t matter how extreme it could be. She loves some challenge. I, myself, was never a risk taker. I like activities within my control. But when you’re with someone who is so excited in doing challenging things, it could get contagious. Well, except for one that she couldn’t really make me do – helmet diving. Big NO because I’m a bit claustrophobic.

It’s good to have someone who could give you that little kick and push to make you go out of your comfort zone, especially when you travel. 🙂 It’s not like someone is forcing you to do something you don’t want to do. It’s having someone believing in you that you can do it. Or else, you would miss all the fun. 🙂

Just like our Heavenly Father, He sometimes gives us a little push on our faith so that we take that step out of our comfort zone. It is only when we take that step that we will see what God was preparing for us. If you feel like no one believes in who you can be and what you can accomplish, trust that God does.

 “Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.” – Deut 31:6

No matter what kind of travel you are in right now, important is you try to conquer whatever it is that is hindering you to your destination. And if you know someone who needs to hear the words, “I believe in you.”, be sensitive and sincere. The power of encouragement can really make a difference. And I’m always grateful to God for the people around me who continue to encourage and believe in me.  🙂

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Here’s a glimpse of some of our Boracay adventures. I was really scared to do the para sailing but when we were at the top, I don’t want to go down anymore. I really enjoyed it. 🙂

Deep Thoughts on Missions

Since I chose the intimacy road with the Lord, doing missions has crossed my mind several times. The desire is there and then it would die down. Then, it would come back again, die d own again. And recently, such desire came back again.

I’ve really been thinking, praying, really asking God about it. Just yesterday, I was reading Ephesians 2, and in verse 10 – “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” I asked God, “What else have You prepared for me to do? ”  

My passion is the Lord and comes with it is serving Him in ways that He shows me how. As what I always say to my self, it is a great privilege for an ordinary person like me to be used by God.  And it is always an immeasurable joy to serve Him!

I still don’t know if this is really what God wants me to do for Him. Where I am is my mission field. And when time comes He will answer my question, wherever or however  – it doesn’t matter as long as I’m serving the King of kings.

Hope you’ll pray with me on this too. 🙂

28: Be True to Your Self

 

 

One thing I’ve realized for the past couple of years, honesty to one’s self is just as important  with being true to other people. I’ve learned this the hard way and well, still in that process.

Right now, I’m in that phase where I’m trying to accept certain truths in my life. Some, I don’t understand. Some, a bit painful. Some, gives me peace. Only God helps me accept all of these, knowing that even if some don’t make sense to me.  They do to Him.

Accepting who you are, what you are designed for, with whom you are meant for – these are not easy truths. What you feel & think – facing them means hurting you sometimes.

But God always allow things for our best. This comforts me. Knowing He will sustain me, strengthen me, be with me all through out. I can face anything, as long as I’m with Jesus.

Truth about my self? Each day, I need my Savior to lift me up so that I can go on with my life.

To Jesus be the glory!