Tag: relationship

The BIG Question

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Last Saturday, I accompanied my friend’s daughter to watch the movie, Trolls. Overall, I really had a super fun day. The movie was really entertaining. I basically spent most of my day with my friend’s daughter as she wanted us to do other things together after the movie. In short, we had a blast!

Anyway, you know with kids nowadays. They are very smart and they really ask a lot of questions – really good ones. The biggest question I had that day which was not only asked once during the whole time my friend’s daughter and I were together was, “Do you have a husband?” It started from the question of how old I was, etc. Then, “Do you have a husband?”

And of course when you say no, there is a follow up. “Why don’t you have a husband?” I get these questions from my friends and now the pressure is on even from the little ones. Haha! I just laughed so hard not expecting we would be having that kind of conversation. Kids!

It’s a question I am so used already of being asked and my other single friends too. And in all honesty, it doesn’t really bother me. I don’t mind at all. Someday, I might be giving a different answer. Who knows, right? But for the meantime, while my answer is still a no, I will continue living a life that will only pursue what is God’s best for me.

Beautifully waiting does not mean I will just sit at a corner, not doing anything. Beautifully waiting means going on with life without compromising God’s best for me. It means if choosing only His best entails being single for now, then I will trust and wait.

Cheers to all singles who are waiting on God’s best!!

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Get married or baby sit!

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Just today, one of the kids in our church asked me if I was a student. So,  I told her that I am already working. Then, she asked me if I am already married. (No escape even from kids!) So, I told her that I’m not yet married. Her follow up question led me to a chuckle. She asked that if I’m not yet married then how come I already have a job. Don’t we love the honest remarks of kids? 🙂 (No sarcasm here. I really do love those kids!)

If you really analyze the question, it’s kinda like – you have a job, it means you are already old, it means you should be married! It makes sense right? (Smart kids! )

As much as a lot of women in my age are already married and have growing family, the other half or probably more in my circle are also still single. I must say it’s great to be surrounded by both!

I love spending time with my married/mommy friends as I learn so much from them – about marriage, motherhood, parenting, etc. Good stuff!  It’s like going to a free seminar with so much freebies that you can take home. And my favorite perk, you get to spend time with their kiddos and enjoy those funny, innocent remarks. To be honest, as I spend time with kids including when I teach during Sunday School, I felt like my patience has increased so much. Being with kids has taught me to be more patient with adults also. 😉  It’s also an honor to be asked by parents to baby sit their kids. I think it’s a privilege to be able to impact even for a little the lives of these little ones.

Being with my single friends is one of my comfort zones. Of course, I belong! 😀 The conversations are different. It’s not about breastfeeding, potty training, Paw Patrol or My Little Pony. It’s about love life, career goals, involvements and weekend plans. Being with my single friends has helped me become more driven as a person. Seriously, we don’t talk about guys all the time. As we share some common struggles, we get strength and encouragement from one another. It also reminds me that being single is truly a blessing. As I see other single women being able to accomplish so much – not for themselves but for other people, I get reminded that if these women are married, then who will be able to accomplish these things?  Until our days of being single is over, we will just have to keep going.

If all or most of your friends are already married, don’t isolate yourself from them. You are one privileged single woman to be able to learn from them! Also, seek new single friends if you don’t have one anymore (though I doubt this is possible *wink*). It’s just great to have someone to share a common journey with and to have someone who also hopes the same for you as she hopes for herself – to be married. Indeed, iron sharpens iron.

To all my married and single friends, you are all great blessings in my life! Thank you!

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Not Alone

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Do you feel that you are ALONE all the time? I believe no one wants to live alone. God has designed all of us to be with someone. Most of the time with our families. If not, with our friends or in a certain community we are part of.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

However, not all of us are blessed with good relationships. Some of us experienced being abandoned or being left by the people whom we thought would never give up on us. Or, some are just too busy that they could not make time anymore.

If you are one of those who feels like no one cares for you or no one loves you, I hope that today you will be assured that there is the GREATEST LOVE that is always available for you. EVEN BEFORE GOD CREATED YOU, HE ALREADY LOVED YOU. And that never changed. God will also bring you to relationships that are good for you if you are willing to trust Him on that. So, take heart!!! God’s love never runs out on you! ❤ ❤ ❤

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You got time?

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Hi My Single Friend,

For sure, just like me, you have those days that you just get reminded of how  “so single” you are. You know, those days that you need to do a week of grocery and ended up buying just for two days because you realize no one is going to help you carry your stuff. Or that day when you want to just go out and have a nice, relaxing dinner and all your friends just could not go out with you. Or probably that day when you can’t stay late night at a friend’s party because you don’t feel safe to walk by yourself when you go home. These are the kind of days that you wish you have that constant person who will always be there for you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Being single, it’s normal to desire to be with someone.

However, you don’t have to sulk about it. As for me, those are just my passing moments. Those moments are great reminders as we are so used to being on our own and being independent that at times we forget we need other people.

As those are passing moments, we have better days to enjoy the life of being single. I believe one of the precious things that we single should really be grateful of is that we have all the TIME in the world. The BIG QUESTION is, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME?

If you look back to the time that you started working up to now, how can you describe the quality of your life? Has it been better? Or, you feel like nothing has changed at all? It doesn’t matter how many years ago that was. Two years, five years, or ten years. Question is, did it change a bit? Did it get better a bit? Realistically, a year can pass by so fast and you felt like nothing has really happened in your life. Or, so many things happened in your life that it went by so fast.

As you think about your life today, you might want to ask yourself how much you valued the time that you have? Do you realize how blessed you are that you don’t need to ask permission from anyone on how you can use your time? If you feel like you haven’t really used your time so well for the past years, it’s never too late. Start setting goals for yourself on how you could improve in using your precious time.

Start with what do you want to do with your week. Of course, you go to work in your regular office hours. And you have to make sure you are finding ways to grow at your workplace. Learn new things each day. Always give your best regardless of circumstance. It’s the attitude, my friend.

After work, how do you want to spend the rest of the day? Have a good rest? Probably do exercise – go to the gym or go for a run or play a sport? Or, meet a friend you haven’t seen for a while? Or, read a good book. Do online classes. Or, cooking lessons. Do volunteer work.

How about your weekends? How does it look like? I hope you don’t spend the whole day just watching t.v. series or doing movie marathon. It’s okay to do it sometimes especially after a very tiring week but just don’t do it every weekend. Just imagine how many weekends you’ve wasted in your one year. Do something productive on your weekend that helps you grow as a person. Be involved in a church or community. Travel with friends and enjoy culture. Pursue a hobby that you can be passionate about – gardening, photography or anything that could also inspire other people.

Don’t waste time, my friend. Appreciate the time that you have right now. Imagine how much you can accomplish. And don’t be greedy with your time as well. Make time for people especially if there is a need. Remember, it’s not about how many things you have done with your time or how many places you have traveled or how many classes you have taken or how many people you have met, it is how much you have grown and improved as a person and how much you have blessed other people. Those are the defining moments of a time well-spent.

Be a good steward of your time. Remember, when you’re done being single, your time is not your own anymore.

y your thanksgiving be filled withlove, happiness, and full tummies!

The Magnet Story

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Last 2014, I asked my friend, Xenia to share her God-written love story. It took me two years to be able to publish it here in the blog site, for some reason I don’t know. 🙂

But, it’s never too late to share a great story authored by God. Hope you enjoy a glimpse of Xenia’s journey.

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Written February 2014

Rockwell and I have only been married since August 24th of last year. We are still enjoying the honeymoon stage.

I met Rockwell during the March for Jesus 2000 worship event at Bacolod City. At that time, he was a complete stranger to me. I saw him holding a banner and dancing to the song “Mercy is falling like sweet spring rain”. It was like magnet. My heart fell in love with how his soul loved Jesus while dancing in the rain in front of over a hundred people proclaiming the worth of Jesus. At that moment, I couldn’t help but utter praise and prayer. My prayer was that I wanted to worship the Lord like he did.

Little did I know, I was prophesying him to be my future husband (haha). In college, he was president of the student government in Riverside and I was his secretary. But I never mentioned this fact to him—about that worship event, and the prayer and the hoping. I had a long term relationship during that time and even after college. The prayer that was spoken for him to be for me was forgotten because of the circumstances that happened that I thought I could not control. I took the wrong path when I came here to the States. I got influenced with the worldly lifestyle. God became the last of my priorities. Having a good career and the praises of people were the ones that mattered to me the most.

As I chose to live my life freely, I continued to sin and to forget God. I was making a black hole in the depth of my soul that none of the material, physical or emotional factor can satisfy. The more that I drew farther from the Lord, the more that my life became very meaningless and hopeless. I reached to the point of giving up. I realized that it was not the life that God intended me to have. The life that He promised me was a life that is full of hope and a future. God reminded me that all good gifts come from Him because He is my Dad. I did not deserve the second hand things that I chose to settle with. As He promised, I deserved the fullness of life. When I asked God to take my calloused heart and make it new, it was like He breathed new life to my desert soul and dry bones.

After 14 years, God finally honored my prayer during that rainy event, having a heart that was so raw and open. Rockwell came back into the picture after I sought God’s purpose for my life. I did not beautifully wait for him. But God still turned my wasted life to a beautiful story when He rescued me and I was able to find fullness and grace again in Him. Isn’t God amazing?  He remembered every detail! He gave me the gift of a husband that I did not deserve.

Indeed, a life of worship and prayer is the key. God alone is good and faithful to His promises! He is full of mercy, grace and love for all of us. Our life should never be focused on the gifts that He gives us but our life should be all about who He is and His worth. How could a God still love us and still want us despite the things that we have done and will do which are not pleasing to Him? That’s our God!

Many are the plans in a man’s heart but only the will of God prevails.- Proverbs 19:21

It is not someone or our husband or wife that will complete us. The fullness of life can only be found in Jesus. I am blessed to have a husband whom I can see Jesus in him. It’s an opportunity for me to be able to love him with grace and mercy just like Jesus loves me. To be wired to Jesus, the Only Source of unconditional love, is how we are able to truly love someone unconditionally.  I believe that we can never give what we do not have. To be an overflow of love, we need God’s love to overflow in our life.

xenia & rockwell

Xenia & Rockwell Bennett