Tag Archives: single women

The BIG Question

Last Saturday, I accompanied my friend’s daughter to watch the movie, Trolls. Overall, I really had a super fun day. The movie was really entertaining. I basically spent most of my day with my friend’s daughter as she wanted us to do other things together after the movie. In short, we had a blast!

Anyway, you know with kids nowadays. They are very smart and they really ask a lot of questions – really good ones. The biggest question I had that day which was not only asked once during the whole time my friend’s daughter and I were together was, “Do you have a husband?” It started from the question of how old I was, etc. Then, “Do you have a husband?”

And of course when you say no, there is a follow up. “Why don’t you have a husband?” I get these questions from my friends and now the pressure is on even from the little ones. Haha! I just laughed so hard not expecting we would be having that kind of conversation. Kids!

It’s a question I am so used already of being asked and my other single friends too. And in all honesty, it doesn’t really bother me. I don’t mind at all. Someday, I might be giving a different answer. Who knows, right? But for the meantime, while my answer is still a no, I will continue living a life that will only pursue what is God’s best for me.

Beautifully waiting does not mean I will just sit at a corner, not doing anything. Beautifully waiting means going on with life without compromising God’s best for me. It means if choosing only His best entails being single for now, then I will trust and wait.

Cheers to all singles who are waiting on God’s best!!

live-the-single-life-to-the-fullest-4

Advertisements

You got time?

Hi My Single Friend,

For sure, just like me, you have those days that you just get reminded of how  “so single” you are. You know, those days that you need to do a week of grocery and ended up buying just for two days because you realize no one is going to help you carry your stuff. Or that day when you want to just go out and have a nice, relaxing dinner and all your friends just could not go out with you. Or probably that day when you can’t stay late night at a friend’s party because you don’t feel safe to walk by yourself when you go home. These are the kind of days that you wish you have that constant person who will always be there for you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Being single, it’s normal to desire to be with someone.

However, you don’t have to sulk about it. As for me, those are just my passing moments. Those moments are great reminders as we are so used to being on our own and being independent that at times we forget we need other people.

As those are passing moments, we have better days to enjoy the life of being single. I believe one of the precious things that we single should really be grateful of is that we have all the TIME in the world. The BIG QUESTION is, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME?

If you look back to the time that you started working up to now, how can you describe the quality of your life? Has it been better? Or, you feel like nothing has changed at all? It doesn’t matter how many years ago that was. Two years, five years, or ten years. Question is, did it change a bit? Did it get better a bit? Realistically, a year can pass by so fast and you felt like nothing has really happened in your life. Or, so many things happened in your life that it went by so fast.

As you think about your life today, you might want to ask yourself how much you valued the time that you have? Do you realize how blessed you are that you don’t need to ask permission from anyone on how you can use your time? If you feel like you haven’t really used your time so well for the past years, it’s never too late. Start setting goals for yourself on how you could improve in using your precious time.

Start with what do you want to do with your week. Of course, you go to work in your regular office hours. And you have to make sure you are finding ways to grow at your workplace. Learn new things each day. Always give your best regardless of circumstance. It’s the attitude, my friend.

After work, how do you want to spend the rest of the day? Have a good rest? Probably do exercise – go to the gym or go for a run or play a sport? Or, meet a friend you haven’t seen for a while? Or, read a good book. Do online classes. Or, cooking lessons. Do volunteer work.

How about your weekends? How does it look like? I hope you don’t spend the whole day just watching t.v. series or doing movie marathon. It’s okay to do it sometimes especially after a very tiring week but just don’t do it every weekend. Just imagine how many weekends you’ve wasted in your one year. Do something productive on your weekend that helps you grow as a person. Be involved in a church or community. Travel with friends and enjoy culture. Pursue a hobby that you can be passionate about – gardening, photography or anything that could also inspire other people.

Don’t waste time, my friend. Appreciate the time that you have right now. Imagine how much you can accomplish. And don’t be greedy with your time as well. Make time for people especially if there is a need. Remember, it’s not about how many things you have done with your time or how many places you have traveled or how many classes you have taken or how many people you have met, it is how much you have grown and improved as a person and how much you have blessed other people. Those are the defining moments of a time well-spent.

Be a good steward of your time. Remember, when you’re done being single, your time is not your own anymore.

y your thanksgiving be filled withlove, happiness, and full tummies!

Flowers, Date and Whatnot…

Can you feel the LOVE

love

Or, are you one of those “single beings” who will once again feel like an outcast on the 14th of February? That feeling when you can’t ask any of your girlfriends to hang out with you because they all have dates. That feeling when you see everyone posting in FB/Instagram photos of flowers and chocolates they received. That feeling when all of a sudden you just feel like eating out and you can’t find a place because you didn’t make reservation days before. If that’s how you had been feeling for the past years, it’s okay. Trust me, you are not alone in that boat.

I said it’s okay because I believe it is not about being insecure, jealous or bitter. It’s that feeling when you walk into a conference of doctors and you are a musician. It emphasizes what you are not. Not yet married, no kids – STILL SINGLE. And for sure, you get that feeling on other days too. Valentine’s day just adds more drama to it.

So, do you dwell or do you overcome? 

If you choose to dwell on that feeling, make sure that it will not lead you to do something temporary just to make you feel better and will have consequences that you will regret in the future. If you choose to dwell and sink in your emotions, bring it all to the Lord. You can ask Him, you can cry out to Him, you can be desperate in His presence. You can be real to Him. He will not judge you with what you feel.

If you choose to overcome, make sure you don’t overcome it by being stone-hearted and hostile on people who celebrates relationship and marriage. If you choose to overcome, it is because you choose to trust on God’s timing for you. You choose to be grateful because being single also has its own blessings that you can enjoy.

So, whatever you decide to do on Feb. 14, I hope that you do it in LOVE.

Love for God, Love for Others, Love for Yourself.

love (1)

Sending God’s love to you, Stifany (Princess Pepay)

Reality in Fairy Tales

cinderella

When I saw the trailer of the movie, “Cinderella”, I was just ecstatic! I felt like Disney heard my wishlist! Cinderella has always been my favorite Disney Princess. I’ve watched all modern Cinderella movies a well as the cartoon movie series. And yes, I still enjoy watching those even until now. Thus, being ecstatic. 🙂

cinderella-2015-poster

I was greatly satisfied with how the movie was made, keeping the classic story as it is. And the real glass slippers are so fancy!! I guess nothing could really beat Cinderella’s footwear! 😉 I’m glad how the movie emphasized so much on a lot of values such as courage, kindness and forgiveness, seeing a big percentage of the audience at the cinema were kids. In short, I was so happy I finally watched it! Yay! 🙂

And of course, there are always take homes from the movie. On my way home after the movie, I got reminded of this cliche that always goes around especially to single women, “There is not such man as Prince Charming.  They don’t exist.” It made me think why would people say that. Is it only because we base it on an actual prince that would sweep off a woman in distress? As I think of the qualities of the prince in the movie, it reminded me of what I read from the book “What is He Thinking?” (By Rebecca St. James). I, somehow, want to conclude that after all, we need more Prince Charming type of men.

An answer from a guy interviewed from the book, “What is He Thinking?”

Question: “Do you think that there is a shift toward a more organic approach to dating today?”

Guy: “Yes, and it is a good thing that people are forming genuine friendships. I also think that guys are more afraid to pursue women these days. It is a lot safer for guys. I do think that guys need to step up and come back to a place of pursuing women in an appropriate way. Ultimately, God calls us to take some risks to build our character and make us more like Him.”

That’s the reason why I said that we need more Prince Charming type of men nowadays. The prince was the one who really pursued Cinderella. He had to open the royalty ball to the commoners that he might be able to see her again. And when he did, he took that opportunity to know her more. And when she left, he never stopped looking until he found the perfect fit for the glass slipper.

To be honest, most of us single women just do not understand why it is so hard for men especially in our church community to pursue or even just attempt to build friendship with women. Is it really the fear of rejection? Or, is it the wrong perception of women? I wonder what guys are thinking about women that they prefer to walk away.

And with that question, obviously I am no expert on relationship or dating. I, myself, is trying to really see the reality of it especially that I live in a country that is so diverse and multicultural. But one thing I’ve learned from Cinderella, which I believe most of us women need to learn as well is to learn how to respond.

From the same book, one guy said, “Christian girls have strange expectations of what a guy should do in a dating scenario. They all want to be pursued, but they are also very cautious about showing interest in a guy – even if the girl really likes him. I get it. I really do. Dating is a game of cat and mouse. However, at some point a girl needs to take a chance and respond. Girls often expect a guy to keep pursuing them even though they have responded to the guy’s advances with nothing at all. That is an unfair power play, and ultimately flawed understanding on how a guy think and what he can handle. No man is bulletproof. It takes two to tango and at some point you are going to have to take a chance on a guy and see if you can dance.”

I realized Cinderella or any other Disney princesses learned how to respond when they were pursued. Though of course, in our reality, it’s not like we immediately get married. My point is, as women, we must also learn to respond in wisdom. We don’t need to complicate things that could give men the wrong hints. But, we still need to keep our guard as we allow men to pursue us.

I always believe that God is the one orchestrating every detail of event that would lead us to that person that He has prepared for us. Our part is to move our feet and walk with God as He brings us to that person. There’s so much learning and character building that God sometimes prolong the waiting for us. But no matter how long that will take,  it doesn’t change the fact that in God’s timing and way, He will give you the person who is your perfect fit!

Cinderella-2015-Glass-Slippers