Tag Archives: singles

Reality in Fairy Tales

cinderella

When I saw the trailer of the movie, “Cinderella”, I was just ecstatic! I felt like Disney heard my wishlist! Cinderella has always been my favorite Disney Princess. I’ve watched all modern Cinderella movies a well as the cartoon movie series. And yes, I still enjoy watching those even until now. Thus, being ecstatic. 🙂

cinderella-2015-poster

I was greatly satisfied with how the movie was made, keeping the classic story as it is. And the real glass slippers are so fancy!! I guess nothing could really beat Cinderella’s footwear! 😉 I’m glad how the movie emphasized so much on a lot of values such as courage, kindness and forgiveness, seeing a big percentage of the audience at the cinema were kids. In short, I was so happy I finally watched it! Yay! 🙂

And of course, there are always take homes from the movie. On my way home after the movie, I got reminded of this cliche that always goes around especially to single women, “There is not such man as Prince Charming.  They don’t exist.” It made me think why would people say that. Is it only because we base it on an actual prince that would sweep off a woman in distress? As I think of the qualities of the prince in the movie, it reminded me of what I read from the book “What is He Thinking?” (By Rebecca St. James). I, somehow, want to conclude that after all, we need more Prince Charming type of men.

An answer from a guy interviewed from the book, “What is He Thinking?”

Question: “Do you think that there is a shift toward a more organic approach to dating today?”

Guy: “Yes, and it is a good thing that people are forming genuine friendships. I also think that guys are more afraid to pursue women these days. It is a lot safer for guys. I do think that guys need to step up and come back to a place of pursuing women in an appropriate way. Ultimately, God calls us to take some risks to build our character and make us more like Him.”

That’s the reason why I said that we need more Prince Charming type of men nowadays. The prince was the one who really pursued Cinderella. He had to open the royalty ball to the commoners that he might be able to see her again. And when he did, he took that opportunity to know her more. And when she left, he never stopped looking until he found the perfect fit for the glass slipper.

To be honest, most of us single women just do not understand why it is so hard for men especially in our church community to pursue or even just attempt to build friendship with women. Is it really the fear of rejection? Or, is it the wrong perception of women? I wonder what guys are thinking about women that they prefer to walk away.

And with that question, obviously I am no expert on relationship or dating. I, myself, is trying to really see the reality of it especially that I live in a country that is so diverse and multicultural. But one thing I’ve learned from Cinderella, which I believe most of us women need to learn as well is to learn how to respond.

From the same book, one guy said, “Christian girls have strange expectations of what a guy should do in a dating scenario. They all want to be pursued, but they are also very cautious about showing interest in a guy – even if the girl really likes him. I get it. I really do. Dating is a game of cat and mouse. However, at some point a girl needs to take a chance and respond. Girls often expect a guy to keep pursuing them even though they have responded to the guy’s advances with nothing at all. That is an unfair power play, and ultimately flawed understanding on how a guy think and what he can handle. No man is bulletproof. It takes two to tango and at some point you are going to have to take a chance on a guy and see if you can dance.”

I realized Cinderella or any other Disney princesses learned how to respond when they were pursued. Though of course, in our reality, it’s not like we immediately get married. My point is, as women, we must also learn to respond in wisdom. We don’t need to complicate things that could give men the wrong hints. But, we still need to keep our guard as we allow men to pursue us.

I always believe that God is the one orchestrating every detail of event that would lead us to that person that He has prepared for us. Our part is to move our feet and walk with God as He brings us to that person. There’s so much learning and character building that God sometimes prolong the waiting for us. But no matter how long that will take,  it doesn’t change the fact that in God’s timing and way, He will give you the person who is your perfect fit!

Cinderella-2015-Glass-Slippers

Married to Single over Starbucks

A married couple from church offered me a ride home today. I thought they’ll just drop me off at the mall, but they also wanted to have coffee and stroll around. They invited me to join them and even gave me a frappuccino treat. It’s likea double treat! Free ride and free drink.

But wait, there’s more! 🙂

The best treat was to hear their own story of waiting. I can’t share their full story as I haven’t asked permission from them but I’ll share my take home notes.

1. I realized how important as a single to not just spend time with single friends but also with married ones. As we hear stories from married couples, it gives us a different perspective on how we should wait while we are still single. Take it from them, the experts!

2. Waiting doesn’t end when we are married. Waiting might even be harder when we are married. Waiting for a better job to support the family. Waiting for a baby to come. Waiting for a spouse who got assigned in a different place. I believe that being single is really a good training ground for waiting. So let waiting build our character!

3. Waiting teaches us to make mature decisions. We tend to be impulsive in our decisions because we only want what’s easy and comfortable. We never think of long term because we don’t want to wait. We want instant results. Another thing I learned over that Starbucks conversation – waiting may take long years but once it ends, we can move forward reaping and enjoying the results of it. That’s when we can say, indeed, it was worth it!

4. There is no deny that waiting is not just difficult but most of the time, really painful. It could really get frustrating that we just want to give up. It’s something that can’t be changed in the journey of waiting but it’s something that we can overcome. Having God in our life makes waiting less hard. It’s because we don’t rely on our own strength but on God’s. I must say, God makes waiting exciting than tiring!

5. And lastly singles, waiting is not a phase before marriage. A lot of married couples didn’t have to wait before they got married. A lot of couples are waiting on something even after they got married. Waiting, itself, is just like marriage. It is an event in our life that God has allowed to happen. And the good news is? GOD NEVER LETS US WAIT IN VAIN.

This couple’s story is one of those that displays God’s faithfulness to those who learn how to wait. Truly blessed to hear and learn from it. 🙂

What a triple treat today!!!

20150104-225055-82255512.jpg

Beautifully Waiting Going Public!

Finally, I’ve decided to create a public page in Facebook for Beautifully Waiting.

It all started as a group in Facebook exclusive only for single women but then I realized it could reach out more women if I go public about it.

I’m just getting started and really excited of how many people especially women will be reached through this page.

All for the glory of God! May He be made known more through social media.

Do visit and share our page to all your women friends!

Click ->  Beautifully Waiting

A Facilitator’s Journal

 

When my dear friend, Rhodes, asked me if I could be a facilitator for an upcoming singles retreat, I didn’t have second thoughts of saying yes.  I have a great passion in reaching out to single women and sharing God’s love to them.  At that time (and even until now), I felt so privileged that God gave me the invitation to serve Him by allowing me to do something that my heart truly desires for.

A week before the retreat, I got sick. I didn’t have enough rest as well since I went home for my dad’s 60th birthday.  When I got back, I was working for the rest of the week on a 2pm-12am shift. But those things, I didn’t allow to get into all my preparations for the conference. I studied the material for module 1 with the available time that I have. I prepared the things that I need to bring 2 days before the retreat. And I just kept praying that I will not get a migraine on the event itself due to my lack of sleep. I was totally depending on God that He would sustain me for the rest of the conference.

The most important thing that I had to do before the retreat was to do a heart check. Days before the retreat, I kept checking my heart if my motives were still right for this retreat. It was really helpful for me because I didn’t want to do something for the wrong reasons. The reason why I was looking forward to the event was aside from being able to serve God, I was very much excited on how God will work in the hearts of the participants. I was excited on the souls that will be saved.

July 21 – Saturday

I arrived home from work 12 midnight, slept for 3 hours, and amazingly woke up with no migraine, no headache. Really grateful to God for giving me a good physical condition despite of my cough and coarse voice. I had been praying for a nice weather for the event but apparently, God had His own way. Just when we got into the bus, there was a sudden downpour of rain. But the rain really didn’t bother me. I was thinking that God can stop it if He wants to.

It was my first time in Rizal Recreation Center in Laguna. It was a nice getaway place from the busyness of Manila. Everything green. The first part of the activity was really a good one.  It woke up all our sleepy senses – with those animal sounds, mind-boggling puzzles and funny pick up lines.  Good job to those who prepared for it. 🙂

When I met the participants in the breakout group I was assigned to, and learned their reasons why they were in the retreat, I was really amazed. Some of them shouldn’t have been there because they got sick the night before the retreat, some have other important things to finish and even others just got off from work in the morning.  But because nothing can hinder God’s plan for them, even before they were in the retreat, they already took the first step of pursuing God. And that’s by choosing to go.

The topics for Module 1 were not new to me already.  They are the basic teachings of Christianity. But at that time, going back to the basic was what I really needed. I had been praying that the participants would just be open to all the messages they will be hearing. And that they will accept God’s Word with all sincerity in their hearts. But I didn’t know that God also gave me a teachable and humble heart. While listening to all the speakers, I felt like I was that person years ago who was just starting to seek God. I was like the participants, very hungry in knowing God more.  It is in the basics that we are reminded why we are doing the things that we are doing right at the moment. I just praise God for the speakers. Not just the ladies in my group, even I, was really blessed and refreshed in their messages.

The Date Night or  I would rather call it Socials Night was really a good way to show to the participants that being a Christian is not boring as it is stereotyped to be. That we also love doing fun things together that would strengthen the relationship and build up one another. And with everyone in their best attires, all would agree, that everyone really had a great night to end their day. And I might just not know, some might have found already their God’s best during that night. Hmmm.. 🙂 Great job to the organizers!

July  22 – Sunday

Just as I was very much overwhelmed (and still am) with how the ladies in my group responded to God’s love, I was also in awe during the baptism.  I don’t know most of the participants who went through baptism.  I may never know their stories, but that day, they told the most important story of their lives. It’s really amazing how God’s love could transform each and every one of us. That day, I felt the heaven rejoicing with us.

The theme of the conference is “Pursue Love”.  After learning all about God’s love in the first day, Mr. Glenn Yu’s message, I can say was the best way to end  the conference.  Pursuing God’s love does not end in the conference.  It was really good that he explained why do we need to pursue Love and even made a clear definition of what true love is. It was really a take home.

In those two days, God made me practice humility, total dependence, patience and grace in a different level. Right from the start, God had reminded me already that the event was not about me or about anyone else. It was about Him. It’s His work. And how He would want things to happen, He has the final say because He was the one who planned for it. No sickness nor rain nor technical difficulty nor even people differences can hinder any of His plans for the participants.

God’s plan. God’s implementation. God’s glory.

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. ” (1 Cor 13:1-7 TheMsg)

– Pepay // Beautifully Waiting.Pursuing Love.