Tag Archives: singles

Reality in Fairy Tales

cinderella

When I saw the trailer of the movie, “Cinderella”, I was just ecstatic! I felt like Disney heard my wishlist! Cinderella has always been my favorite Disney Princess. I’ve watched all modern Cinderella movies a well as the cartoon movie series. And yes, I still enjoy watching those even until now. Thus, being ecstatic. 🙂

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I was greatly satisfied with how the movie was made, keeping the classic story as it is. And the real glass slippers are so fancy!! I guess nothing could really beat Cinderella’s footwear! 😉 I’m glad how the movie emphasized so much on a lot of values such as courage, kindness and forgiveness, seeing a big percentage of the audience at the cinema were kids. In short, I was so happy I finally watched it! Yay! 🙂

And of course, there are always take homes from the movie. On my way home after the movie, I got reminded of this cliche that always goes around especially to single women, “There is not such man as Prince Charming.  They don’t exist.” It made me think why would people say that. Is it only because we base it on an actual prince that would sweep off a woman in distress? As I think of the qualities of the prince in the movie, it reminded me of what I read from the book “What is He Thinking?” (By Rebecca St. James). I, somehow, want to conclude that after all, we need more Prince Charming type of men.

An answer from a guy interviewed from the book, “What is He Thinking?”

Question: “Do you think that there is a shift toward a more organic approach to dating today?”

Guy: “Yes, and it is a good thing that people are forming genuine friendships. I also think that guys are more afraid to pursue women these days. It is a lot safer for guys. I do think that guys need to step up and come back to a place of pursuing women in an appropriate way. Ultimately, God calls us to take some risks to build our character and make us more like Him.”

That’s the reason why I said that we need more Prince Charming type of men nowadays. The prince was the one who really pursued Cinderella. He had to open the royalty ball to the commoners that he might be able to see her again. And when he did, he took that opportunity to know her more. And when she left, he never stopped looking until he found the perfect fit for the glass slipper.

To be honest, most of us single women just do not understand why it is so hard for men especially in our church community to pursue or even just attempt to build friendship with women. Is it really the fear of rejection? Or, is it the wrong perception of women? I wonder what guys are thinking about women that they prefer to walk away.

And with that question, obviously I am no expert on relationship or dating. I, myself, is trying to really see the reality of it especially that I live in a country that is so diverse and multicultural. But one thing I’ve learned from Cinderella, which I believe most of us women need to learn as well is to learn how to respond.

From the same book, one guy said, “Christian girls have strange expectations of what a guy should do in a dating scenario. They all want to be pursued, but they are also very cautious about showing interest in a guy – even if the girl really likes him. I get it. I really do. Dating is a game of cat and mouse. However, at some point a girl needs to take a chance and respond. Girls often expect a guy to keep pursuing them even though they have responded to the guy’s advances with nothing at all. That is an unfair power play, and ultimately flawed understanding on how a guy think and what he can handle. No man is bulletproof. It takes two to tango and at some point you are going to have to take a chance on a guy and see if you can dance.”

I realized Cinderella or any other Disney princesses learned how to respond when they were pursued. Though of course, in our reality, it’s not like we immediately get married. My point is, as women, we must also learn to respond in wisdom. We don’t need to complicate things that could give men the wrong hints. But, we still need to keep our guard as we allow men to pursue us.

I always believe that God is the one orchestrating every detail of event that would lead us to that person that He has prepared for us. Our part is to move our feet and walk with God as He brings us to that person. There’s so much learning and character building that God sometimes prolong the waiting for us. But no matter how long that will take,  it doesn’t change the fact that in God’s timing and way, He will give you the person who is your perfect fit!

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We’re In Faithful Bloggers!!

I just checked today if this site has been added already to the blog directory of FaithfulBloggers.com and I’m so happy to announce that it’s already listed!

Yehey! There are a lot of sites there as well not just for Singles who are going through different journeys. You can visit their website and be encouraged!

in

Married to Single over Starbucks

A married couple from church offered me a ride home today. I thought they’ll just drop me off at the mall, but they also wanted to have coffee and stroll around. They invited me to join them and even gave me a frappuccino treat. It’s likea double treat! Free ride and free drink.

But wait, there’s more! 🙂

The best treat was to hear their own story of waiting. I can’t share their full story as I haven’t asked permission from them but I’ll share my take home notes.

1. I realized how important as a single to not just spend time with single friends but also with married ones. As we hear stories from married couples, it gives us a different perspective on how we should wait while we are still single. Take it from them, the experts!

2. Waiting doesn’t end when we are married. Waiting might even be harder when we are married. Waiting for a better job to support the family. Waiting for a baby to come. Waiting for a spouse who got assigned in a different place. I believe that being single is really a good training ground for waiting. So let waiting build our character!

3. Waiting teaches us to make mature decisions. We tend to be impulsive in our decisions because we only want what’s easy and comfortable. We never think of long term because we don’t want to wait. We want instant results. Another thing I learned over that Starbucks conversation – waiting may take long years but once it ends, we can move forward reaping and enjoying the results of it. That’s when we can say, indeed, it was worth it!

4. There is no deny that waiting is not just difficult but most of the time, really painful. It could really get frustrating that we just want to give up. It’s something that can’t be changed in the journey of waiting but it’s something that we can overcome. Having God in our life makes waiting less hard. It’s because we don’t rely on our own strength but on God’s. I must say, God makes waiting exciting than tiring!

5. And lastly singles, waiting is not a phase before marriage. A lot of married couples didn’t have to wait before they got married. A lot of couples are waiting on something even after they got married. Waiting, itself, is just like marriage. It is an event in our life that God has allowed to happen. And the good news is? GOD NEVER LETS US WAIT IN VAIN.

This couple’s story is one of those that displays God’s faithfulness to those who learn how to wait. Truly blessed to hear and learn from it. 🙂

What a triple treat today!!!

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