Tag: surrender

Asking for MORE

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Last year, I asked God to test my faith. Not to give me what I want but to see more of Him. I get to know God more each day when I read the Bible but I wanted more. I wanted to know and experience God more in my own walk with Him. And so, I prayed for Him to take me to a more deep faith.

That’s 5 “more” there…

Just like when Elisha asked Elijah a double portion of his spirit, I asked God for more of Him.

Just rewinding a bit in 2012…

God gave me this burden to consider going for a full time ministry work. It is a privileged joy to be able to serve God fulltime.  However, I also wanted to fulfill my own dreams for myself and for my family. I can’t see my dream getting realized if I’ll go fulltime.

In a retreat that year, we were asked to write something that we want to surrender to the Lord. Right there, God asked me to surrender my plans and dreams to Him, to just totally let go. It broke my heart. As I wrote and committed it to the Lord, I was in tears. I felt like a portion of me was taken away.

After that, I just told God, I have done my part, now do Yours.

Forwarding to 2013…

There were no doors opened for a full time ministry work. God even gave me a better opportunity for growth in my IT career. It was a dream role I never thought I could have. I thought maybe God wanted me to stay after all. I got so energized with my work that somehow I forgot that desire of going full time for a ministry.

Then latter part of the year, a door for a ministry job opened. Work in my company became stressful and “spiritually” exhausting. I applied for the ministry opportunity. I considered resigning.

Not certain if I’ll be accepted for the position, I took a big leap of faith and submitted my resignation. And on my last day at work, I received the news for my ministry application that I was not accepted.

That’s what happened when you asked God to test your faith. Things don’t go your way. But it allowed me to experience God in a very, very, very personal way. Indeed, He wanted me to grow deeper in my faith.

I asked God why He wanted me to resign when He knew that I will not be accepted for that ministry. The response I got from Him – your character, your heart, more important than where you will serve me. The condition of my heart was not pleasing to Him anymore. Disgusting enough that God, full of grace and love had to remove me from something I might not be able to handle.

As I started 2014, I have never been more uncertain with my life. But that’s when deeper faith happens. All I know is that I have a SOVEREIGN GOD who cares for my heart more than what I can bring to Him.

Remember that dream I surrendered in 2012? Years before that, I wanted to apply for a permanent residency in Canada. However, I did not make it to the 2 years of full work experience. I got short of 3 months. I told God that if He really wanted me to apply, He will find another way. Start of 2013, the qualification changed. From 2 years, they only required 1 year. I was qualified. Then, hesitation came. I told God I surrendered this dream to Him already. I’m choosing to go full time.

But God is just amazing. He used someone to push me to apply. Did you ever have that peace that transcends all understanding? I had this sudden peace in me, confirming that I’m doing the right thing. Amazingly, everything went so smooth with my application. And with all the uncertainties I had at the start of the year, I received an email last February. My application for Canada got approved.

I gave God a jaw-dropping expression (literally). A face in awe of SOMEONE I can never fathom and describe but very real, very personal.

I’m excited how this year will turn out to be. 2013 has been a very interesting, growing, exciting year for me. This year, I’m just letting God continue to mold me, surprise me, amaze me, change me. After all, that’s just the way HE is – An Extravagant, Loving Father.

Last year, my theme verse was Hebrews 11:1 as God took me to a deeper faith.  “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

I started this year – no job, plans surrendered, and full of uncertainties. I was only holding on to the ONE certainty in my life, my Lord and Savior Jesus.

This is my theme verse for 2014 – Philippians 3:7-8: “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. “

Please pray for me as I seek God to give me a fresh vision before I leave for Canada. More than a fulfilled dream, this journey has always been about Him. I just want to make sure that when I move, I have a clear vision to remind me of why I went there in the first place.

Thank you to everyone who prayed with me on this journey. (Philippians 1:3 – “I thank my God every time I remember you.”)

In this life, it only takes a faith as small as a mustard seed to believe that God loves you so much and He cares about you that He wants to be involved in all aspects of your life. God will not force you. You have to decide if you want to believe. (And, I hope you do.)

To the only amazing God be all the glory!

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It’s Not Complicated

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In my Bible reading, I’m now in the chapters of the Book of Exodus when God gave instruction to Moses in building the tabernacle, altar, etc. You know all the details and measurements. Every time I read these chapters, I’m always reminded of how God cares even to the smallest details. He was very specific of the color, size and length and materials to be used. The small details mattered to Him. Another thing I’m also reminded of, God is not complicated. When He gave the instruction to Moses, it was direct and complete, no guessing games or whatsoever.

As I reflect of who God is also in my life, He is also the same. He cares for the smallest details in my life. I remembered when I was trying to catch the last bus trip and I was still in the train. With my estimate, I know I will miss the bus but I asked for a little miracle from God. I made it to the last trip. I realized God cared for my transportation going home. There have been a lot of instances in my life that I never thought would matter to God, but every time I whisper a prayer, He would give me those little miracles which made me love God more. Indeed, He is also into the small details of our life.

If there’s such thing as “It’s Complicated” status in Facebook, with God, nothing is complicated. How He gave instruction to Moses, everything was laid out. Moses did not need to figure out what God was trying to say to Him. God gave all the details for Moses to execute. In my journey with God, He has shown the same. His yes is a clear yes and no a clear no. We sometimes think that God’s plan for us is something that we need to figure out or it’s a mystery. As I learn to totally trust Him, I realized that there is nothing to figure out. All we really need to do is to trust and obey. God gives answers in the proper time. And when He answers, it is always clear.

Last week, I became impatient with God. He asked me to resign last year and I thought that He would let me work full time in my church. The first position I applied, I was not selected. Another position was offered to me, I got excited and I thought this was what God really planned for me. Then, I was told last week that the start date was uncertain due to change of priorities.  I felt sad and cried. I was being a brat with God asking what He really wanted me to do. God was giving me a clear “No”. Twice. Very clear, right? And so, I conceded.

But God does not give us a “No” answer for no reason at all. Last Saturday, I received the email that I have been waiting for a long time. It was for my PR application in Canada, the immigration is requesting for my passport so that they could give me my visa. This was something I prayed to God and deeply asked Him not to give me a “No”.  And indeed, He did not! My application got approved! 🙂 And now, everything is making sense!

His No to me is a Yes to what is best for me and for His work for the church. God is not complicated. We are the ones making it complicated because of our impatience and lack of faith.

“God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33

[Giving it All] Day 3: God Will Honor You

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Reading: Matthew 26:13

“Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

Reflection:

My older sister, Amity passed away eight years ago. She was the person who taught me how to dream big and how to value family more than anyone else. Aside from her laughter and bubbly personality, these are the things I will always remember about her that I can share to people to give her honor.

Same with Jesus, He also honored the woman in the presence of the disciples and other people. Jesus did not just accept the offering of expensive perfume of the woman but He even praised her and promised her a lasting legacy.

People will sometimes not understand when we surrender our life to God. They may think that it doesn’t make any sense. However, God promised, “If we do not lose heart in doing good in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” (Galatians 6:9)

What does surrendering our life to God means?

It means that we are letting God take control of our life. We are trusting God our entire future. We are allowing God to transform our mind and hearts that we may see things in His perspective. This simply means, in every action we do, every word we speak, every thought we ponder, every decision we make and every relationship we have – it will not cause us to sin against God, instead it will please God and glorify Him.

But then, this is impossible right as no one is perfect like God? That’s why we need Jesus to be our Lord, our Master, our Savior. God can only honor people to be in heaven if God will see Jesus in our life. While in this lifetime, as you surrender daily to God, He will also honor you in ways you can never imagine. You just have to trust Him for that.

So, what kind of legacy do you want to leave for the next generation to come? How do you want to be remembered? Are you willing to make Jesus the center of your life?

In the gravestone of Amity, we put this verse to show people who would pass by that she never gave up on her dreams, on her own battles, on her faith in God. That’s how we want her to be remembered.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7)

Are you struggling in letting go things in your life that’s hindering you to let God? Hope this prayer will be a start as you desire to make Jesus the center of your life.

Prayer:

Dear God,

Thank You for reminding me today how important it is to have a life centered in Jesus. Teach me Lord to surrender my life to you. Help me to let go of the things and relationships that are drawing me away from you. Help me to trust You in every step of surrender I will make knowing that You always have the best plan for me. May I be able to leave a good legacy of my faith and walk with You to others. I surrender my life to You, Jesus. I accept You as my Lord and my Savior. Thank You for a new life that I will journey with You. This I pray in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Song:

I Surrender by Hillsong

[Gving it All] Day 1: All of You

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Reading: Matthew 26:6-7

While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper,   a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

Reflection:

Knowing Jesus

  • Jesus loved to spend time with people, did not matter what kind of status the people had in the society. He ate with them and had conversations with them.  (While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples – Mark 2:15)
  • Bethany is the place where Lazarus lived. Lazarus was the one whom Jesus raised from the dead, brother of Mary and Martha (John 11). This family was very close to Jesus as well.

 

Just imagine if Jesus would come to your home to hang out, how would you prepare? For sure, you would make things look impressive, taking out the “special” dishware which are only used during special occasions. However, as I read and imagine this – he was reclining at the table, I pictured it as very relaxing and comfortable.  Jesus just really wanted to hang out and be with people. He did not care about the external. This is the same with our life. Jesus does not care with the brand of clothing or shoes you wear. He does not even care what position you have or how rich you have become.  He just wants to be in your life, to be the center of your life. He wants to hang out with you – all of you.

perfumeThe woman mentioned with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume was Mary. In today’s time, the most expensive perfume costs US $215,000 which is the Clive Christian’s Imperial Majesty.  It is a 6.9-ounce perfume bottle with an 18-carat gold collar that is embellished with a five-carat diamond. Do you even want to use that perfume if someone would give it to you? We might just even hide it to make sure no one steals it. Now imagine this – Mary poured out a very expensive perfume on Jesus’ head. Imagine pouring out a US $215,000 worth of perfume just in one time. Would you even dare? Mary did.

Jesus is like the alabaster jar with the very expensive perfume. God gave His Most Precious One and Only Son Jesus to us to the point of death. Jesus sacrificed ALL of His life that we may have eternal life. (For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16). That’s how much God loves us.

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Our life is also like the alabaster jar with the very expensive perfume. Jesus wants the entire perfume, not just a portion of it. He wants us to give our ALL to Him. He wants us to give our BEST to Him. Is there anything in your life right now that is hindering you to come closer to God? Are you always giving your best in everything that you do? Is there anything that is holding you back to give all of your life to God? Giving your all does not mean giving up your career or your money or your family to follow Him. Giving your all means putting God first before anyone and anything in your life and that in everything that you do, it honors and pleases God.

If you desire to give your all to God today, you can say this prayer:

Prayer:

Dear God,

Thank you for reminding me today of how much you love us. Thank you for your One and Only Son Jesus that through Him I can have eternal life. Lord, teach me how to give my whole life to you.  Help me to make You the first in my life that I may be able to give my best always in everything that I do.  Forgive me Lord for holding back a lot of things in my life which hindered me to be more close to You. I want to know more about Your love through Jesus Christ.  This I pray in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Song:

I Offer My Life by Don Moen