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Diary of a Princess, Reflections

Waiting is Grace

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I got to answer one of the questions during our small group icebreaker activity.  The question is, “How did I experience God’s grace in my love life?”  I could not give a fit answer as I’m not in a relationship but it reminded me of something very important.

I know I’m not alone in the journey of waiting and for sure a lot of single women like me would agree that waiting is never easy. In my own season of waiting, I have failed so many times. This is not just in the context of waiting for the “right” person but in all other areas of my life that God had asked me to wait.

Why did I fail? Because I thought that getting ahead of God would not really cause much trouble. Because I thought I will be able to handle it. I thought I could be in control. And because I was foolish, consequences were not just painful but they left scars. And those would not happen, if I waited.

We fail to realize that the purpose why God allows us to wait is because we are not yet ready. Not yet ready of what He wanted to entrust to us. Just like when we were in school, we can’t wait to finish and get a job. But a degree is needed to be able to find a nice paying job. So there must be preparation.

God is actually gracious enough not to let us do or have something we could not handle YET. It is God’s way of protecting us from things that we are not yet ready of. In the time of waiting, He lets us see what truly are in our hearts. He reveals to us our true motives and desires for the things that we ask of Him.  He allows us to also get to know Him more and His will for us. It is a season of pruning, molding, preparing and growing.

So how do I experience God’s grace in my love life? For now, it is through WAITING.

one fine day

 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

Faith Journey, Reflections

It’s Not Complicated

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In my Bible reading, I’m now in the chapters of the Book of Exodus when God gave instruction to Moses in building the tabernacle, altar, etc. You know all the details and measurements. Every time I read these chapters, I’m always reminded of how God cares even to the smallest details. He was very specific of the color, size and length and materials to be used. The small details mattered to Him. Another thing I’m also reminded of, God is not complicated. When He gave the instruction to Moses, it was direct and complete, no guessing games or whatsoever.

As I reflect of who God is also in my life, He is also the same. He cares for the smallest details in my life. I remembered when I was trying to catch the last bus trip and I was still in the train. With my estimate, I know I will miss the bus but I asked for a little miracle from God. I made it to the last trip. I realized God cared for my transportation going home. There have been a lot of instances in my life that I never thought would matter to God, but every time I whisper a prayer, He would give me those little miracles which made me love God more. Indeed, He is also into the small details of our life.

If there’s such thing as “It’s Complicated” status in Facebook, with God, nothing is complicated. How He gave instruction to Moses, everything was laid out. Moses did not need to figure out what God was trying to say to Him. God gave all the details for Moses to execute. In my journey with God, He has shown the same. His yes is a clear yes and no a clear no. We sometimes think that God’s plan for us is something that we need to figure out or it’s a mystery. As I learn to totally trust Him, I realized that there is nothing to figure out. All we really need to do is to trust and obey. God gives answers in the proper time. And when He answers, it is always clear.

Last week, I became impatient with God. He asked me to resign last year and I thought that He would let me work full time in my church. The first position I applied, I was not selected. Another position was offered to me, I got excited and I thought this was what God really planned for me. Then, I was told last week that the start date was uncertain due to change of priorities.  I felt sad and cried. I was being a brat with God asking what He really wanted me to do. God was giving me a clear “No”. Twice. Very clear, right? And so, I conceded.

But God does not give us a “No” answer for no reason at all. Last Saturday, I received the email that I have been waiting for a long time. It was for my PR application in Canada, the immigration is requesting for my passport so that they could give me my visa. This was something I prayed to God and deeply asked Him not to give me a “No”.  And indeed, He did not! My application got approved! 🙂 And now, everything is making sense!

His No to me is a Yes to what is best for me and for His work for the church. God is not complicated. We are the ones making it complicated because of our impatience and lack of faith.

“God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33

Faith Journey

The Great Unknown

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The Great Unknown 

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When you think you got it all figured out, you’re wrong.

All you can do is to continue figuring it out until you reach that point that you can’t even remember what you were trying to figure out.

Making sense?

Not really, right?

Exactly.

The moment you keep figuring things out, you will realize that they just don’t make sense at all.

Well, from your perspective.

There is a vision but the path towards that vision is just blurry.

But then, what can you really do?

Stop looking? Stop pondering? Stop figuring it out?

Unfortunately, that’s the only thing you can do when you don’t really know what you need to do.

You really need to stop.

Instead, keep praying. Keep trusting.

No matter what, never lose faith.

It will somehow break your heart but HE will never fail you.

You will shed some tears but HE will restore your joy.

It will test your patience but HE will sustain you no matter how long the waiting will be.

You just have to hold on to the promise that HE has the best ahead of you.

Just enjoy the journey of resting in HIM. Be still.

For what is the great unknown to you is the greatest known plan to HIM.

Someday, you’ll see.

And, you’ll be in awe.

7 Days - Persevering in Trial

[Persevering] Day 1: The Cry

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Reading: Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the Lord.

Reflection:

David waited patiently, calling out to God.

God did the following for David:

  • Turned to David
  • Heard David’s cry
  • Lifted David out of the pit of destruction and of the miry clay
  • Set David’s feet on the rock that he may stand firm

David’s response to God:

  •  God put a new song on his mouth, a hymn of praise to God
  •  David proclaimed – many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord

I’m so much grateful that God does not change. How He loved and protected David, He does the same for all of us. David must be very troubled as he wrote this psalm. As he described his situation, he was in a pit of destruction, crying out to God for help.

Indeed, everyone – a king or a commoner has his own problems. No one is excused in living a life full of trials and problems. However, David has a big God. He turned to God alone to seek refuge. He described how God lifted him up from that pit and put him on a rock that he could stand firm again. And God does this to everyone who calls on Him. There was never a time that God failed me every time I’m so down and hopeless. He is the only one who could take me out from that pit, gives me strength to get up and go on with life. And just like David, the only response I could make is to be in awe of God, to give praises to Him even if the times were difficult.

Have you ever experienced God this way? Have you allowed God to help you not just in times of trouble but in everything that you do? Have you entrusted God with every step of your life? Always remember, God hears you. You just need to call unto Him and He will turn to you.

If you are in a difficult situation right now, you can say this prayer to God.

Prayer:

Dear God,

Thank you for showing to me the life of David; that, even a king does not have a perfect life. Thank you for reminding me that I can entrust my life to you and I can call upon you on any situation of my life. I ask for your strength dear God that I may overcome all the trials in my life. Help me to see you always that I may put my trust in you alone. This I pray in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Song:

I hope this song will bring you encouragement and be reminded of who God is.

Diary of a Princess, Insights

Take it Slow

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Since I started working, I felt I’ve become an expert of multitasking. I’m always in a hurry to complete two to three tasks at the same time. I felt like I’m always running out of time.

And as I did this, it somehow influenced even my day to day non-work tasks. I noticed that when I walk with people, I always go ahead of them. When I do my chores at home, I start thinking what to do next when I’m still finishing something. And I noticed, when I do things, I’m always in a fast-paced like I’m being timed.

And now that I’m currently out of work, I still feel like I don’t have enough time to do so many things when I have all the time right now. I want to complete things immediately. I want to accomplish a lot within a week. I want rapid progress in my goals.

No wonder God has been teaching me big time on waiting. I want everything to happen in an instant while God is taking His time in slowing things for me. What can I do?

I made a sort of commitment to myself that while I’m waiting on God for His direction for me, I will learn to slow down on everything. I will do chores in a normal pace, thus, avoiding dropping or breaking things. I will plan out tasks weekly and not kill myself to do all in one day. I will take time to rest, walk slowly, observe things. I read this somewhere, “Take a pause and smell the waffle.”  

I’m excited on how God will change me to be more patient and more trusting.

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Faith Journey

Delays are not denials

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As I shared in my previous blogs, I was working on my PR application for Canada with all the requirements and stuff.

I’m happy to say that I made it to the required score for my IELTS exam! Praise God for that! Just a little story about it – I was really nervous that I would fail especially my listening exam. It’s really where I was struggling the most when I was doing my self reviews. I was more confident with my writing and speaking since I believe they were my strengths. And you know what, I got the lowest in my writing. I was actually expecting it because I really got stuck in my writing when I can’t even properly elaborate my thoughts about a topic that I totally have no idea! I realized how difficult to write about something you really don’t know anything about. But as always, God is really good. I needed a 6 for my writing and He gave me a 6! 🙂 That was really close. I placed everything in God’s hands after I took the exam.

I already submitted my PR application. It was really a challenging process with all the documents and requirements that I need to procure. Not to forget the very tedious details that I should follow in the instruction kit. But really really helpful. After a month of submitting my application, I got my application number. Yay! 🙂

I’ve been expecting their next updates after 2 months I got my application number but I haven’t heard still. There has been an ongoing strike in the immigration offices which could possibly cause the delays. But then, I told myself, God’s timetable is always perfect. His timing is always right. While I’m waiting for the next update, I still have enough time to prepare for what’s to come. And if this is really what God would want me to have, it will happen.

I was reminded by a status post in FB and I really agree, indeed, God’s delays are not God’s denials. He holds what lies ahead. He knows what’s best. As long as we are aligned to His will, we will learn to wait by faith.

Please pray for me as I press on to this journey. 🙂

God bless!